Scar Tissue
by SoDeeply
Summary: Will Severus Snape allow her to get close enough to help him get through a past he can no longer run from?
1. Scarred

Disclaimer: I don't own anything

Chapter One - Scarred

Alone again, always alone. Severus Snape had spent every summer holiday alone in his manor with just his books and paid company. It had been this way so long that it didn't bother him any longer. It used to when he craved someone to hold him and tell him he was worthy of love. Something he never had. But now at age thirty-six he convinced himself that it wasn't something he wanted. And it wasn't, but it was something he needed.

He looked around the gloomy, cold and unwelcoming manor. He was due to leave for Hogwarts. The new school year was starting. He wasn't leaving much behind. He realized what he was doing and stopped himself.

'It's not like you have someone to come back to, evil prat.' He told himself. Not that he cared. And with that he strode out bitterly. He arrived at Hogwarts not bothering to say hello to anyone, and headed straight to the dungeons. If they cared they would have owled him over the summer.

The war had long been over so he had no need to worry about Voldermort. He thought of the war bitterly. He couldn't help but wish he was dead like some of his fellow death eater, spies, and Order member. Severus had died many times in his lifetime, but he couldn't help but wonder why he wasn't dead yet. He was snapped out of his thoughts by an unwelcoming knock on his door.

"Come in." He said irritated. "Welcome back." Minerva McGonagall said cheerfully.

"How was your vacation this summer? Pleasant? I see you did not get the tan I suggested." She said smiling. He glared at her.

"Is there something you wanted?"

"Only to say hello to my favorite DADA professor."

"Well then I think we're about finished then." He said as he was about to usher her to the door.

"Actually, we have a meeting in five minutes in the staff room. As you know we have some new professors this year, including a new Potions master. As you now last year we had to unfortunately let go of Madam Kentrecta. What, with that nasty little accident."

"Yes, I must say that Longbottom was a far better potions brewer then that little disaster. I'd like to see the brainless professor who gave her the title. He should be half eaten alive by a hippogriff, and left to be stomped dead by the giants." Snape said offended by the mere thought of her teaching.

"Yes well I heard she was taught on the muggle devise they call a computer. Something called online classes." She added.

"Yes, well, I hope you hired someone who can at least make a decent Wolfsbain potion." He said running his hand through his long black hair. "Yes, I heard she can brew it properly and effectively." Snape looked at her skeptically.

"Minerva I'll have you know there are only twenty-two wizards who can properly brew the potion. And only three woman at that." He said. "Yes, aren't we lucky to have gotten one of them? She is quite skilled and is well known for her potions skills. I've read that she has taken brewing potions to the next level inquiring not only charms, but several other components to brew potions that aid in medicine to a defense (or cure) for the Unforgivables. She comes very recommended. A friend of mine also. Believe me Severus, you'll like her. I actually was thinking of you when I hired her. You two will have much to talk about seeing as how you both are so passionate about most of the same things. One would tend to wonder what other things you to could be passionate about…." Minerva said with an evil grin on her face.

Severus' mind was racing. 'Who could this person be? He's read 'Potions Through the Ages' cover to cover each week, and there were only a few possibilities. Could Professor Bently have gotten a sex change? I knew he was a little sketchy.' He thought. 'Eh, how could Minerva think I would go for him? I know I haven't had a date in a while, but this is appalling.' He glared at Minerva. 'How could she?' He thought.

Minerva gave him a questioning look. "Shall we get going? I'm sure you're dying to see her." She asked.

"I'm not gay." He said gritting his teeth. Minerva let out a laugh. 'What on earth is he talking about?' She asked herself. 'Oh, goodness, I know Professor Bently in sketchy, but really.' She thought smiling. "Of course you aren't" She said mockingly as they left his rooms.

As they entered the staff room everyone was already seated and talking amongst themselves. There was only one seat left. Severus took it. He looked to his left and saw Longbottom talking to Professor Trewlany. He wished that she would see one of her grims in her bloody tea cup and put herself in an early grave. But no, she was still there and predicting his death several times each year.

Longbottom was still as timid and as shy as ever teaching Herbology. He glanced to his right and saw someone he's never seen before. His stomach did an unfamiliar flip, which he passed off as hunger. She had soft long curly brown hair that fell on her back heavenly. She had thick eyelashes with a rich honey brown eyes. She had on a short (not too short) black skirt with a tight white and green pin stripped shirt that was open too low for Severus' liking. She was beautiful and Severus couldn't help but stare. She was animatedly talking to Professor Johnson, the Charms professor. 'Well I suppose it's Professor Weasley now, since she married Fred Weasley over the summer. Just as she was about to turn toward Severus, Minerva got their attention.

"As Headmistress, I welcome you all to a new year. This year we have some new faces on our team. I would like to go around the table as you will state your name and class." She said. "We'll start from left to right." She smiled.

"Hello, I'm Hannah Abbott, just call me Abby, I'm teaching History of Magic." She said nervously.

"Angelista Sinistra, I teach Astronomy, Ann will do fine."

"Seamus Finnigan, Muggle Studies, and I like Seamus just fine."

"Oliver Wood, Flying, Oliver."

"Alexander Montague, professor of Tranfigurations. Montague unless I give you permission otherwise." He said with a grin toward the woman seated to the right of Severus. Sevrerus wanted nothing more to drag him out of the room and beat him with his bear hands.

"Ginerva Malfoy, mediwitch, its Ginny or I have some products from my brothers' shop that will set you right!-."

"Ginny!" Minerva warned as Angelina, Draco, Montague, and the mystery woman to the right of Severus laughed.

"Draco Malfoy, Ancient Runes, Draco is okay I guess." He said smiling at his wife Ginny.

"Sybill Trelawney. Professor of Divinations. And I must say that if any of you want you –."

"Trelawney that _is_ enough!" Minerva said. Her patience warring.

"N-Neville Longbottom, professor of Herbology, and its Neville."

Severus was fully aware it was his turn as he wanted to get to the beauty next to him as soon as possible.

"Snape, Potions, Snape." He muttered quickly as he looked to his right.

She raised her brow at him, but turned. "Hermione Granger, Potions master. Just call me Hermione." She smiled.

It took all of Severus to keep himself from falling out of his chair. He was flabbergasted to say the least. 'Granger! Of course it was Granger who else could it be.' The last he heard in Potions Though the Ages was that she was in Austria doing some research on an upcoming project. It must have been six years since he's seen her at the award ceremony after the war. She had grown in all the right places. She was no longer the little know-it-all he taught seven years ago, but a smart, young woman who was a master at all fields she perused. 'Probably dating the youngest of the Weasley boys.' He thought bitterly.

'That boy didn't deserve to lick the insects off the bottom of her shoe.' He thought. But he knew he didn't either. He didn't even know why he was thinking of her. 'Have you looked in the mirror lately? You look worse than death.' He thought crossly to himself.

"The name's Angelina Weasley- formerly Johnson, Charms professor, Angie is alright with me." She smiled.

"Vanessa Vector, Arithmancy, call me Nessa."

"Hagrid, Care of Magical Creatures, Hagrid is all." He said.

"Well." Minerva began. "I'm sure this year will be interesting to say the least. Classes begin in two days, so I'll let you guys get settled. Your class schedule is on your desks. Have a nice night." She said as she left.

A murmur of whispers began. Severus fled out before any words were spoken to him. He sat in his chair staring at the fire. He was in a bad mood to say the least. 'Why couldn't my family have good genes like the Malfoys or the Blacks?' This made him angrier. The fact that he was comparing himself to others. For looks no less.

He knew he wasn't a handsome man. No one ever told him otherwise. His pale skin, lanky hair, and scars didn't help that fact much. He picked up a bottle of firewhiskey next to him and took a swig. He was a no good ex-deatheater who didn't deserve anyone anyways. Especially her. He followed her progress after Hogwarts, personally sending a letter of recommendation to the best university; resulting in her acceptance and full scholarship. She was one of the best potions masters he's ever seen. Better than even himself.


	2. Of Needs and Wants

Disclaimer: I don't own anything

Chapter 2 – Of needs and wants

The next morning Severus was early to rise as per usual. He never could sleep the whole night. He went down to the kitchen at five-thirty to get his usual back coffee with his copy of Potions Through The Ages. As he entered the kitchens he saw Hermione seated in his usual seat reading a copy. He stopped dead in his tracks. All he heard and felt was the beating of his heart. 'What's wrong with me? This is just Granger.' He thought to himself. But he new better, it wasn't _just_ Granger. It would never be just Granger for him.

"Could Jemmy get Master his black coffee now?" A little house elf asked.

Hermione turned to see him and let out a little gasp. "Yes, that would be fine." He said walking toward Hermione.

She was wearing a suit much like yesterday. Except she had a white and pink pin strip shirt and her hair was held up in a bun with a quill while loose strands cascaded her face and neck.

"I'm sorry Professor Snape. Jemmy told me this was your regular seat, but I didn't think you would be up this early." She said getting her things.

Severus lifted a hand to stop her. "No, no, its fine I suppose you can stay there since you've already settled in." He said sitting on a stool next to hers.

"Why thank you, how generous of you." She said sitting back down.

"Jemmy thought that you would hurt me if you saw me sitting on your precious stool." She smiled. "Is she your own? She seems to take after you." She asked.

Severus was barley paying any attention to her, her smile was distracting. "Yes, Jemmy is my family house elf. She does not like to see me in any distress. And that includes when someone steals my seat." He said, turning to Jemmy who returned with his coffee glaring at Hermione.

"I'm sorry again. I did not know it would put you in distress." She said a bit put off. "You know, I'll just get up. It's no big deal." She said getting up.

"No!" Severus said a bit too quickly. "Sit. I'm already settled. Just don't make the mistake a second time." He said in a tone she knew all to well. She felt like she was in his classroom again.

"Whatever you say Professor." She said. She was about to go back to her magazine when a thought came to her. "Why are you up so early?" She asked. He looked at her wondering why she couldn't just go back to her reading and leave him be.

"I don't sleep much." He said not feeling the need to be terse or lie.

"Oh." Was all she said. She went back to her reading. Severus sat there reading the same line over and over. He couldn't concentrate. He wanted to ask her why _she_ was up so early, but he couldn't get up the courage.

"You know there is a potion for that." She said eyes still on the magazine.

"Yes, I know that! I am still a potions master! You insolent girl!" He snapped.

"Then why don't you take any?" She asked turning to face him. "Because my body has grown immune to them." He said. "Oh, well I have brewed this new formula with different ingredients that aren't in the regular potion. I'm sure that you aren't immune to pacantrites, there the main ingredient in-."

"Hangover potion, yes, I know. And yes, I am immune to that also." He said slightly embarrassed.

"Oh," she said. "Well if you want I could brew it with another effective ingredient that could work just as well if not better." She asked. He looked at her in surprise.

"Why would you do that? What do you want?" He asked angrily.

"Because you said you aren't sleeping. How can you teach when you haven't gotten a good nights rest? And it's very unhealthy. Have you spoken to Ginny?" She asked concerned.

Severus was slightly touched at her concern. "I said I don't get much sleep, I do sleep. And no, that won't be necessary. I do not want to take any of your time. I'm sure you have better things to do." He said waving his hand. She took his hand and put it on the table to stop the waving. Severus' heart stopped.

Her hand was soft and smooth, unlike his. He moved his hand from under hers quickly. 'It didn't belong there.' He thought saddened.

"Don't be silly. I'll be glad to make it. I love experimenting. It'll be nothing at all." She said. "Have you been experimenting with any potions lately? I know you developed the Cantacry method of brewing the Felix Felicis potion as well as Mandrake Restorative draft which makes them both more effective and keen." She said excited with interest.

He hid a smile. He was happy she took interest in the work he was doing. 'What a clever little witch. Always ready to learn more.

"Yes, I actually have. The method was in May's issue of Potions Through the Ages." He said looking for her to ask him to show her the method. He knew she would.

"Yes, I know. Merlin knows I've studied the method, but one can only learn so much from the magazine. I was hoping you could show me on your spare time. On the weekends or something. Not saying that you have no plans for the weekend, but this method could help me further my techniques and I could finally feel like I'm getting somewhere with the Beranaty potion." She said.

"Slow down child. Yes, I will show you. Next Saturday around noon is fine. Is the Beranaty potion the potion you are developing to help the side effects of some of the unforgivables?" He asked. She nodded.

"Normally, I do not give up on anything. But this seems like a lost cause. I just can't seem get it right." She said disheartened.

"I'm sure if you keep trying you will get it." He said reassuringly not really knowing why he was trying to comfort the girl. He had things to do. She put a hand on his. "Thank you Professor. I know you're right." She said. He again removed his hand.

"Miss Granger, please refrain from touching me." He said. 'I don't see how you could.' He thought bitterly.

She rolled her eyes. "Why not? It's just a friendly touch." She asked.

"Because we are not friends. Never have been, never will be." He said gathering his things. "Why not?" She asked.

"I don't need any friends, Miss Granger." He replied.

"Really. Professor, no mans an island, you do know that right?" She asked.

But her question could not be answered as Professor Weasley, and Madam Malfoy walked in.

"I haven't woken up this early since I went to school here. At the university I always scheduled my classes in the afternoon. I usually spent my mornings with Fred." Professor Weasley said to Madam Malfoy.

They turned to see Hermione and Severus. "Oh, morning, you two." She said with a light smile.

"Hey Angie. How was your first night?" Hermione asked. "Oh, it was okay. Couldn't sleep much without Fred there. Not really used to it. But we talked about it and he might be moving here, since the shops in Hogsmade." She replied.

Severus started making his way out. He was little aggravated that Hermione was not as friendly as she was with Professor Weasley and Madam Malfoy as she was with him. But that was his fault. 'Why the hell am I thinking about her? I'm sure she's not sitting there thinking of me!' He thought to himself, and he was right.

Severus spent most of the day in his classroom getting prepared for classes the next day. He glanced outside and realized that dinner would probably start in a few minutes. As he was contemplating whether he should have dinner in his room or in the Hall, when there was a knock on his door. "Enter," he said as he ran his hands through his hair. Hermione walked through the door with a couple of vials.

"Hello Professor, I was just dropping by some vials of the sleeping potion. I made it with chamomile. If you are not immune to that, it should work a bit stronger then the others." She said walking up to him.

She stopped next to him behind his desk. She put the vials in front of him. Severus began slowly moving his chair away from her, she was way too close. And he didn't like it.

"No, I'm not immune to chamomile." He said quietly not trusting his voice to say anything other than that. She sat on his desk next to him.

"Well then it should work better than the other potions, and it won't be as easy to get immune to." She said smiling. "Miss Granger, there are other seats." He said crossly. "Yeah, I know, but I like this one. So what does your schedule look like?" She asked. He looked at her suspiciously. 'What is she playing at?' He thought. "Excuse me?" He asked.

"Why are you a teacher? It doesn't seem like you enjoy it." She asked. "I have my reasons." He said. "Will you tell me? Or should I guess?" She asked. He cocked an eyebrow. She took this as a yes. "Is it because you like frightening children? Do you feel like this is your home? Or do you just do it, to do it?" She asked. He pinched the bridge of his nose. "Miss Granger-."

"Fine, tell me another time. But now you could walk me to the Great Hall for dinner." She said standing.

"I'm not going." He said simply. "And why not?" She asked. "Because I don't want to." He said.

"Come on, let's go, or I'll spread a rumor that I saw you over the summer holiday doing some questioning things with Professor Bently. He is kind of a sketchy guy." She said.

"Who would believe you?" He asked slightly amused.

"Everyone, they have no reason to believe otherwise. They wouldn't ask you, and you don't have a girlfriend." She replied.

"How did you know I don't have a girlfriend?" He asked.

"I do now. Thanks for the ammo, though." She said smiling walking toward the door.

He grinned at her audacity. "Miss Granger, wait!" He said grabbing his cloak as he caught up with her.

"You should have been in Slytherin." He whispered in her ear. She slightly stiffened visibly at his breath on her neck. He inwardly smiled. She turned to him stepping away from him ever so slightly. "My friends say that all the time." She smiled.

As they walked into the Great Hall, all eyes seemed to be on them. They took their seats quietly. "I knew you'd like her." Minerva said smirking as he sat besides her. "I do not like her. I just escorted her here after she dropped off a potion." He said indifferently.

"Of course." She smirked. "She's single you know." Minerva added. "And this concerns me how?" He asked stabbing his meat pie. "Oh, it doesn't. Not now anyways. I just thought you should know." She said.

"Minerva, I'm only going to tell you this once and only once. Do not even think about setting me and this girl up. I don't want her, nor your suggestions." He said brusquely. Minerva raised an eyebrow at this.

"Severus, do not presume to think that you can stop me. You guys fit together perfectly. She is the best match for you. And you've been alone for quite some time. Don't you think it's about high time you let someone in? You still bare the weight of everything that happened in the war. You need to start living Severus. You've been dead for far too long." She snapped.

Severus was beside himself in anger. He couldn't believe that she brought up the war. "How dare you! I know we are friends Minerva, but this is too much. I have been living perfectly fine without Granger, and I will continue. And you and I both know she deserves better then some repulsive, disgraceful, deatheater. Scars from the war just don't go away. I am a traitor to both my sides; I killed the only father figure I've ever had! For what? It should have been me Minerva! That is why I live like I'm dead, because I am!" He whispered as he fled out the Great Hall, leaving a very distressed Headmistress.

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a/n – Thanks to everyone who reviewed. I appreciate it.

duj - Who's teaching Arithmancy and why are almost all staff members Gryffindors? You have 2 Slytherins, one Hufflepuff, an unidentified stranger and Sinistra and Trelawney who remain unidentified, compared to 8 Gryffs. And it's Ginevra, not Ginerva.

-You're right, I did forget the Arithmancy professor, its Professor Vanessa Vector, and I'm going to edit that. Nice looking out. But, it's actually six gryffindors (Angelina, Seamus, Hermione, Ginny, Oliver, and Neveille) and it's because I wanted it that way. And there are no unidentified strangers? Professors Sinistra, and Trelawney are professors in the book, and that includes Vector. If I'm wrong, tell me. But thanks for reviewing, it's always welcome. Thanks!


	3. For Him, For Them

Disclaimer: I don't own anything

Chapter 3 – For him, for them

He sat in his chair facing the fire drinking his second bottle of firewhiskey. He wasn't thinking about anything in particular. He was actually trying hard not to think. Many nights had passed when he sat just the same. He heard a knock on the door. He knew who it was, and frankly he was surprised that she didn't just walk in.

"Go away Minerva!" He said. The door opened. 'Here we go again.' He thought.

"Minerva, I don't want to talk about it anymore. Just leave me be." He said as he turned toward his door to see Hermione standing there. He glared at her. "What do you want?" He asked. She walked towards him.

"Are you okay? You sped off from dinner quickly. You didn't even eat one bite. I was just going to tell Jemmy so she could reprimand you, when I thought I could do it myself." She said a bit introverted.

"Miss Granger, I am fine. The way I feel is none of your concern." He said turning toward the fire. "You know where the door is." He said shortly.

Hermione sighed. She looked around the room. "You have many books on you shelves. Almost enough to rival my own. Almost." She smiled as she walked toward one of his bookshelves against the wall. "Are you a book collector? Or have you read all of them? There most be at least two hundred to say the least." She said stroking and examining some of the books.

Severus was paying her no mind. He just stared at the fire. "Did Minerva send you here?" He said quietly after a while.

"No, why would she?" She asked. He said nothing.

She continued to look through the books. A few times she would find a book that caught her fancy.

"Were you not excused?" He asked her.

"Oh, I'm not going anywhere until you eat something. You know the staff is worried about you." She said looking up from a book she was looking through.

"I do not care. For the last time Miss Granger, please take your exit." He said.

She ignored him and sat down in a seat parallel to his and began reading. He turned to look at her for the first time since she let herself in. She was completely absorbed in the book she was reading. Her hair was again held up by a quill while strands cascaded her neck and face. She was breathtaking. He couldn't understand what she was doing there. With him. It didn't make any sense. She was better than this. Minerva didn't send her here, he would've known, she was a terrible liar.

"So if Jemmy sends me up some food you'll leave?" He asked.

"Oh, when she comes can you ask her for some tea for me?" She asked.

"Please do not tell me you are planning on staying here. I can do perfectly fine without you. If you would just leave I promise to eat something. I will even tell Jemmy to send you some tea to your quarters. But you have been here long enough." He said.

She frowned. "Do you not like my company?" She asked.

If Severus was truthful with himself he would say yes. He wanted nothing more than to sit with her and read by the fire, or have dinner with her. But he wouldn't bring himself to admit it. "No, Miss Granger, I do not like your company at all." He said knowing that she might just walk away and never try with him again.

She sighed. "That's very disturbing news seeing as how I don't plan to leave your company anytime soon. Severus, do you realize you have no friends aside from Minerva?" She asked. He said nothing; he just stared at the fire.

"It's not healthy. Why can't we just be friends? Don't you ever want someone to talk to?" She asked now standing. "I've had friends, and all that it got me was a dark mark." He said to the fire.

"Severus, you know as well as I do that they were not friends. Gosh, I know you've been through a lot but-." With speed Hermione never imaged possible Severus had her pinned against the wall.

"You know nothing of what I went through in the war! You don't even know half. You couldn't even imagine what I been through inthe little mudblood head of yours! So keep your bloody mouth closed! Who the fuck do you think you are? So fucking self-righteous and selfish! You have not seen what I have while I was protecting you and your friends little precious heads! So don't EVER tell me you know what I'm going through, cause you know nothing of it!" He said as he hit the wall near her head as he bellowed at her.

Hermione was surprised to say the least. She knew he wasn't going to hurt her so she wasn't afraid. But she was worried about him. 'How could he keep all that in?' She thought to herself. She raised her arms to give him a hug to hopefully show him she understood and that he wasn't alone, but he pushed her away.

"I don't need any of your pity." He said as he made his way to his chair.

A part of him wanted to apologize to her for snapping. But there was another half of him that thought she deserved it. He stared at the fire waiting to hear his door slam. He waited in vain. Instead she sat on the floor next to his chair and laid her head against his lap. After a while she spoke.

"You know, I lost my family during the war. I know you, but still. My mother, father, sister, and some friends. There are so many things I wished I would've said, you know? When Ron died… When he died, I died too. I wish I did. I know we were only seventeen, but we were going to get married. I had a future with him, by his side. I know people didn't think much of him, or thought I could do better cause he didn't have two knuts to rub together. But I would've gladly lived penniless forever with him. Then when I heard of the other deaths, Harry, Arthur, Percy, Lavender, Remus, Lee….Dumbledore." She said as she felt him stiffen.

"We've all lost a part of us during the war. You know the whole time after the war I was wishing that I was never a witch. Then I would've never lost anything. I was actually contemplating going back to the muggle world. But then everything everyone I loved died for would be all for naught. It wouldn't be right. I owed it to them to become the best witch I could, to move on. For them." She said.

"Severus, I know that none of the other professors here would completely understand, cause they weren't there like we were. But at least open up to me. Come back to us Severus. Be the wizard that Dumbledore died believing in. If not for yourself, then for him. He deserves it." She said as she got up and walked out of the room. But not before saying. "Do eat something will you? You looked absolutely famished."

Severus sat back in his seat amazed. He understood now what Minerva was pestering him about. Dumbledore did deserve it. He hadn't died because of him, but for him. For all of them. And it was the amazing witch named Hermione Granger that brought this to his attention. Yes, they would be friends.

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a/n - thanks to everyone that reviewed, you guys keep me updating. Hope you liked that chapter, kinda shorter than the others.


	4. The Inner Eye

Disclaimer: I don't own anything

Chapter 4 – The Inner Eye

The next day the Hogwarts Express was due to come. Severus was busy up to his neck with things to do. Before he knew it, it was a few minutes till the feast. There was a knock on the door. He was too distracted to look up, but her said "Enter," anyways. Hermione strode in.

"Are you busy?" She asked as she stood next to his seat behind his desk and sat on it. He hadn't talk to her since last night. His stomach did some familiar flips when he looked up and saw her. She was wearing a simple v-neck black dress with her hair down. She sat legs crossed on his desk holding her black robes in hand.

"N-No, not anymore." He said as she raised a brow at his stammer.

"Are you ready for the feast?" She asked.

"Yes, I suppose." He said gathering his notes on his desk. His first and seventh years would have three pop quizzes the first week alone.

"If you've been to one, you've been to them all." He said. She shrugged.

"I guess, I'm a bit nervous though." She said.

"I wonder how the kids are going to be. I heard about what happened to the last Potions professor, Kentrecta, was it?" She asked. He nodded.

"But she was brainless as far as potions brewing is concerned." He said. She smiled.

"I guess." She said. "So are you ready? It's about that time." She said.

"Yes, let's get going." He said as they both stood up. Before they left he grabbed his cloak. They entered the Great Hall and sat next to each other. A few minutes later students came streaming through the doors.

After the first years got sorted, Headmistress McGonagall started her speech.

"Welcome to another year at Hogwarts. Some of you guys are returning, and others are here for the first time. First I would like to introduce two new professors this year. Our new Charms teacher, Professor Angelina Weasley. You might remember her as Angelina Johnson, one of the best Chasers Hogwarts has seen!" She said as everyone cheered. "You're hott!" shouted one of the older students. Angelina stood up and took a bow. "And our new potions teacher, Professor Hermione Granger. One of the smartest witches to hit Hogwarts, no question!" She said as they cheered just the same. "You're a bloody fox!" shouted another one of the older students. Hermione stood up and curtsied.

After dinner the students headed out and the professors went to their rooms to get some much needed rest.

The next day, Severus sat in his desk during his free period and graded the pop quiz. Most of them failed miserably. He sighed. He had his work cut out for him.

"Rough morning?" Hermione asked standing in front of his desk.

"Only two of my students passed my pop quiz. Their all dunderheads. What is it that they do over the summer that makes them loose the information they retained during the school year?" He asked as she walked behind his desk and seated herself on top of it.

"I don't know. There was a first year Slytherin who argued with me all class, then presumed to ask me on a date to Hogsmade." She laughed. Severus lifted a brow. "What was his name?" He asked.

"Carter, Jack Carter. But he's harmless; it was just a good laugh." She laughed.

"What was a good laugh?" Professor Abbott asked walking into the room. "Doesn't anyone knock?" Severus asked himself.

"Oh, I was just telling Severus that Carter asked me to accompany him to Hogsmade, after he questioned me at every turn in class." She said. "The first year Slytherin?" She asked. Hermione nodded.

"Yeah, can you believe it? He actually told me that if I said no, he'd ask Professor Weasley." She smiled. Abby laughed.

"Is there something that you wanted Abbott?" Severus asked irriated that she interrupted their conversation.

Abby raised a brow. "Did I interrupt something?" She asked.

"No, we were just talking." Hermione replied.

"Oh, w-well I-I was just looking for Hermione. I wanted to borrow one of you books. One about history- since that's what I teach, History of Magic." Abby struggled.

At this Severus and Hermione both cocked a brow. "Are you okay Abbott?" Severus asked.

"Yes, and please call me Abby or Hannah." She smiled. His brow rose higher.

"Okay, let's go to my rooms then." Hermione said as she strode off with Abby. Outside of his classroom, Abby hit herself.

"I'm so stupid! I acted like such an oaf in front of him." She said. Hermione looked at the girl confused. "I don't understand."

"I like Snape. I like him a lot. And all I do is act like an utter fool in front of him. I wanted to ask him out." She said.

Hermione was taken back."You like, Professor Snape? Really?" She said. She couldn't imagine anyone liking him.

"Yeah, I thought you did too. You're always flirting with him and laughing at his sarcasm, and you're always with him." She said.

"No I actually don't like him. We're just friends." She said. 'But obviously we're not if you're willing to ask him out thinking I liked him.' She thought a little perturbed.

"There's a Hogsmade trip this weekend. You can ask him to go with you." She said.

"Yeah I was thinking of that too." She agreed. "He really needs some sunlight. And it would be good for him to go out on a date. Just make sure he knows it's a date, not just a trip to the apothecary." She said. Abby nodded.

"Oh, and do it quickly before he makes any plans." She added. "Thanks Hermione, you're such a good friend." Abby said giving her a hug.

Later on while Hermione was checking on her itinerary forMonday after dinner Severus strode in. "The strangest thing happened to me today." He started. Hermione said nothing though she lifted a brow. "Hannah Abbott asked me to Hogsmade." He said sharply as he sat on one of the student desk.

"So you said yes then. I didn't expect her to ask so soon." She said placing a worksheet on each desk.

"You knew and you didn't tell me! What in the bloody hell kind of friendship is this?" He snapped.

"The kind I also have with Abby." She said nonchalantly.

"Well the next time this happens would you please notify me in advance? I would like to be prepared." He said feigning sweetness.

"Um, okay, well I heard Nessa talking about a crush she's had on you for months now at dinner today." She said indifferently. "But I don't think she's going to ask you on an outing." She then let out a laugh and stopped what she was doing. "It was so funny; Sybil was actually telling her that she saw that you two were going to be together in the near future. With kids at that. She also added that she didn't see how the rest of the staff didn't see it. 'Use your inner eye,' what rubbish." She laughed.

"You guys actually talked about it during dinner?" He said incredulously.

"Why yes Severus, you're our favorite subject to talk about over dinner. Why it was just yesterday when Angie was telling me she would gladly leave Fred for just one shag with you. A snog even." She said apathetically as she continued to put the worksheets on the desks. Color rose in his cheeks.

"I can't believe-."

"Severus I sat next to you at the feast yesterday." She said rolling her eyes.

"Honestly Severus." She said smiling. He scoffed slightly embarrassed.

"Well I said no of course to Abbott's proposal. I don't know who gave her the idea that I would go parading around Hogsmade with her." He said. "Well I did. I thought it would be a good idea. You do need some sunlight Severus. You look deathly pale. And plus, when's the last time you went on a date?" She asked.

"That is none of your business."

"That long, huh?" She said.

"You are wearing my patience Granger." He said.

"Yes, well, you're definitely going to have a date on Saturday. Which reminds me, we have to reschedule our date, remember you said that you'd show me your method?" She said putting some extra worksheets on her desk as she started walking towards Severus as he nodded.

"You know there are chairs." She whispered against his cheek. Severus felt the lack of something he needed in his lungs. He forgot what it was called, but he was sure it was important. The hairs on his neck rose and his heart sped up. His hands got clammy and his stomach was going through a whirlwind. Before he could think of reacting she pulled away smiling and shaking her head.

"Such a hypocrite." She said. He said nothing as he was too busy trying to regain his composure. "Walk me to my room?" She asked as she put on her cloak. Severus merely nodded. As they walked Hermione noticed his silence.

"You know I was joking about you being a hypocrite." She said hoping she didn't hurt his feelings.

"No, yes, I mean yes, I know you were joking. I was just thinking." He said. "About what?" She asked.

"About how long it would take you to ruin the perfectly comfortable silence." He smirked. She rolled her eyes as they reached her rooms.

"Okay well, be sure to be ready on Saturday cause you're going. And don't even think about fighting me on this or you'll see how Slytherin I can get." She smiled as she disappeared into her room leaving a worried Severus behind.

* * *

a/n - Okay so this was a lighter chapter compared to the others, but I gotta establish a friendship of sorts, before anything can happen. Thanks to everyone who reviewed. Review and tell me how I'm doing.


	5. The Attention She Desires

Disclaimer: I don't own anything

Chapter 5 – The Attention She Desires

Saturday came all too quickly for Severus' liking. He was looking over his shoulder every chance he got. As he was finished checking all the students he turned to sprint to his dungeons when he ran into Hermione and Abby directly behind him.

"Oi! Severus, you're ready. Abby here thought you weren't going to show up for your date." Severus glared at Hermione.

"Actually, I think I caught a bit of the cold." He said trying to retreat.

"Oh then you must be getting to the apothecary then. I'm sure Abby will take good care of you." Hermione said as she lifted her brow to Severus in a dangerous manner that made him turn around, intertwine his hand in Abby's, and smile fiercely at Hermione and concur.

Hermione watched them leave and almost wet herself at thewide smileSeverus had on his face.

"You're such a Slytherin." Ginny laughed as she witness the whole seen.

"Ginny! How could you say such a thing? I'm a Gryffindor through and through. Now go get your bloody jacket so we can spy on the wankers." She said feigning seriousness.

Severus was beside himself with anger. He was definitely going to have a few specific words to say to his _friend_. Some mate. This Abbott girl was just as entertaining as watching your nails grow. He was sitting at a restaurant awaiting Abbott to come back from powdering her nose. He hoped she choked on it. "How did I get myself in this position?" He asked himself. "Use your inner eye!" He heard a voice sounding exactly like Hermione's say as he heard Ginny laugh. Hermione was how.

Oh, how he was going to get her back. She was the reason he was in this position. And all he wanted to do was to be on a date with her. Or even better, teaching her his method. Anything rather than being in the position he was in now. And it had just gotten worse as Abbott had returned in perfect health. After they left Hogsmade Severus told Abbott that he couldn't feel the way she felt, so he would feel better if they didn't ever go out again. Ever. Severus sat on his desk grading some papers when he heard her enter. He knew it was her so he didn't bother look up.

"Did you enjoy yourself this afternoon Miss Granger?" He asked. She smiled and sat at her usual spot on his desk.

"The question Snape is, did you?" She asked.

"You know I didn't enjoy myself. Everytime she opened her mouth her idiocy was confirmed further. She had nothing intelligent to say. All she spoke of was gossip." He said. "Did you know that Montague was seen more than once with Lovegood? It is rumored that they're together." He added.

"Really? Montague and Lovegood? She doesn't seem his type. Do you think it could be true?"

"Of course not-! Miss Granger, I would really appreciate it if you would stop trying to set me up. When I want to go out with someone I'll ask." He said. She sighed.

"I guess. But when you fancy someone, ask them. If you don't strike out once in a while, you won't fully value what it is to win the game." She said. He raised his brow.

"You know you owe me big." He said. She nodded her head.

"Yeah, I know. Do you have anything in mind?" She asked.

"Actually yes. There is a Potions convention in three months for Potions Masters only. But it's in England. I was wondering if you'd accompany me." He said. She raised a brow. Severus' heart was beating rapidly hoping that she would say yes and spare him the embarrassment. He didn't even know why he asked. The silence was killing him. He had to say something.

"Were friends Hermione. And you owe me. It's the least you can do." He said. She smiled. "What a coincidence." She started as she moved closer to him. "Because I was going to ask you." She whispered against his cheek. She then stood up and headed out.

Severus just sat there with his eyes closed trying to remember how her skin felt against his skin. She was so soft. He could only imagine what she would feel like under him as she kissed him with her full lips and her tongue exploring his mouth fully. While he pulled her closer, her hands trying to undo his slacks. He suddenly snapped open his eyes open. 'What the hell am I doing? Daydreaming about a former student! Can I sink no lower?' He thought resentfully. 'She would never think of me like that, you dirty deatheater.' He thought saddened. He quickly headed to his quarters for a much needed cold shower.

Later that day he pulled on his cloak and headed down to the Great Hall for dinner. As he walked down he saw Hermione leave her room hastily. She was clad in muggle attire. She had on tight low-rise jeans, a dark green tank top, a black jacket, and black and green trainers. She looked as though she was leaving somewhere.

"Hermione," He called out.

She turned questioningly. "Oh, hey Severus, I really have no time to talk. I have to head into Hogsmade. I forgot to buy some ingredients for a potion I have to make for Ginny. And I need to start making it tomorrow morning, and I don't have much time before the store closes." She said.

"But dinnertime. Not to mention it's eight, and dark outside. You'll miss dinner."

"Yeah, I know. But I'm not that hungry anyways, I had lunch." She said.

"Merlin, Hermione, we all had lunch eight hours ago. I'll accompany you. It is too dark for you to be roaming alone. Afterwards we'll get something to eat." He said in a matter-of-fact tone.

"Goodness Severus, I am a big girl. I can defend myself, but if you insist. Then let's go."

She said.

They went to the apothecary to get the ingredients. And after a half an hour of arguing Hermione let Severus pay. They then headed to the Leaky Cauldron to get some food.

"You know I haven't been here in a while." She said. "The last time I was here it was to celebrate my engagement." She added.

"To Ron I assume." He said. "Yeah, others asked but I never said yes." She replied.

"Really like whom?" He asked a little amused as they looked over the menu. "Um, there was Krum. He asked me during the war."

"Weren't you with Ron at the time?" He asked.

"Yeah, he wanted me to run away with him. He wanted me to be safe from the war, and said that being with Ron was dangerous, and said at least he could take care of me." She said.

"Why didn't you go with him?"

"Because I didn't love him like that. He was a pretty boy who was too safe. I could just look at him and know exactly what my life was going to be like in ten years. I didn't want that. With Ron I had no idea, but I was willing to take the chance. And I really don't care if he was safe or not, because I felt safe when I was with him, you know?" She said. He didn't say anything.

"Do you still love him?" He asked wondering if there was any room in Hermione's heart for him. She took a while to answer the question as it took her by surprise.

"That was a long time ago. I was a different person. I don't think you could ever forget or stop loving your first love. But of course the love changes. I think if someone ran in here and told me that Ron had risen from the grave and that he was back I would be terribly sad. Because he would be the same and I would be different. There would be no way for us to be together. It's really a strange thing to give your heart to someone; you never get it back the same way." She said.

He said nothing for a while. "It is better to leave your heart where it belongs, I always say." He said. Hermione laughed aloud thinking it was some kind of a joke.

Severus found himself smiling, it was no joke, but her laugh was amazing and got him elated. The waitress came and they ordered. They continued to talk until they left. Talk with her was easy. Usually he had to try hard to get some common ground between him and the person he was talking to. But with her they already had a lot in common. And he found himself making her laugh and in turn making himself laugh. They made it to Hogwarts and they stood in front of Hermione's door.

"Thanks for going with me Severus, I had a fun time." She said as she reached up and hugged him. Severus' heart stopped and he seize to breath. Before he could even think to hug her back, she let go, said a quick goodbye, and slide into her rooms. Severus stood their and sighed. He needed to get a hold of this friends thing. He didn't like feeling these unwanted feelings for her.

In her rooms Hermione was leaning against her door. When she hugged him, her heart stopped and her heart raced. She had no idea why this happened. She then came up with the idea that she needed to go to a mediwitch, it could be asthma. She smiled at herself satisfied with the conclusion and went to take a shower. Shortly she came out of her bathroom ready for bed.

She was about to get in when she heard a knock on the door. She opened it wondering who it could be and saw Angelina.

"Wotcher Angie?" She said as she let her in.

"I want details." Was all she said.

"Details?" Hermione asked.

"Yes, why didn't you tell me you and Snape were going on a date today? A best mate needs to know these things." She smiled.

"Oh, that wasn't a date. I needed to go to the apothecary to get some ingredients for a potion that I need to make for her tomorrow morning. And I completely had forgotten earlier at Hogsmade so I had to go during dinner because it closes early and he didn't feel safe with me going alone." She said shrugging.

Angie still looked suspicious. "Scared for you, was he?" She said. "You know very well that it I told Snape that I was going to Hogsmade alone after dark, he'd wish me luck hoping that I got beaten up by wolves, robbed, and end up being eaten whole by a Ukrainian Ironbelly dragon." She said. Hermione laughed.

"A bit extreme don't you think?" She asked. Angie shook her head.

"Not for Severus, he's not the nicest person Hermione." She said. Hermione rolled her eyes.

"He really is nice once you get to know him. It's just a defense mechanism." She said. Angie again shook her head.

"No Hermione. Snape became a deatheater by choice. He switched sides, sure. But he used to rape muggleborns like you for breakfast. They were terrible people Hermione. I'm not telling you to stay away from him, because he's a bad person. I'm just saying be careful. I don't want you to get hurt, not exactly physically, but mentally." She said.

"Angie, he's a friend. He's a really good person; I'm not going to punish him for past mistakes. Okay so he trusted the wrong people and got into a really bad situation. But he's different, though he isn't a saint. I'm okay with that, no one is." She said. Angie stared at her for a while.

"Okay, if it's what you want then okay." She said with a sigh. "So it wasn't a date?" She asked.

"No, it wasn't." Hermione smiled.

"Darn, I thought you guys would be the next Montague and Lovegood. But oh well. Montague claims that he wants and has nothing to do with her, but the Daily Prophet continues to have photos of them each morning do things together. Kinda sweet.. In a weird way, no? Well anyways I gotta run. Fred'll be here any minute. Later Mione." She said making her exit.

Hermione fell into her bed. Her mind was racing. She knew Angie was right. She couldn't deny that. He did willingly become a deatheater, and there was no question that they did the most heinous things, but that wasn't Severus. She couldn't see him doing that. She decided not to think about it since she really didn't know much about that part of Severus' life, so she couldn't really put two and two together. She closed her eyes and drifted to sleep.

Sunday evening, Hermione found herself bored, with nothing to do. Angie was with Fred in Hogsmade, Ginny was in her quarters with Draco, and Abby was crying. She then thought of Severus. She had no idea what he was doing, so she decided to go to his quarters and find out.

Severus sat on his settee reading a book when he was interrupted with a knock on his door. "Enter," he said as he continued to read. He felt the settee move. He looked up to see Hermione looking as ravishing as ever in muggle fashion. He pushed those thoughts out of his head.

"Hey Severus, are you busy?" She asked as he looked down and continued to read. "No," was all he said. She frowned. She got up and headed to his bookshelf and picked up a random book. She sat back down and started reading it.

After fifteen minutes she realized that she should stop reading the same paragraph over and over. She looked at Severus who was engrossed in his book. She frowned again. He wasn't paying her any attention. She closed the book and stared at him.

"Is there something you wanted Granger?" He asked still not looking up. "No," she said.

"Let's play a game." She said after a while. He looked at her and rose a brow.

"It's my version on twenty questions, We each have a turn asking each other twenty questions, and the other person has to answer the question in less than three seconds or they get shocked and continue to until they do. But you have to try and catch them off guard with a question so they take longer to answer and get shocked. And you can't lie or you'll get shocked also." She said. He said nothing, just stared at her.

"Come on Severus, please?" She asked smiling sweetly.

He could not resist her smile. "Very well, Hermione." He smiled.

"Great, first we have to switch wands, and tap them together." She said as they did it.

"Okay, hold it in your right hand and don't drop it, and I'll start." She said.

"Okay, favorite color?"

"Hunter's green."

"Favorite food."

"Steak."

"Favorite drink."

"firewhiskey."

"Favorite non-alcoholic drink."

"Iced tea."

"Mother's name."

"Kairos."

"Father's name?"

"Soren."

"How old are you?"

"Thirty-six."

"When's your birthday?"

"March 29th."

"Do you have any siblings?"

"No."

"Do you ever want children?"

"Yes."

"Do you ever want to get married?"

"No." At this Severus got a sharp shock in his hand. "What in the bloody hell! Yes, fine, yes!" He said harshly as Hermione laughed. Thoughhe was a spy and had been tortured before, the shock was intense and hurt like hell. 'What in the sodding hell kind of game was this?' He thought.

"Do you fancy anyone at the moment?"

"Yes, and don't you dare ask who, or I'll hex the living daylights out of you." He said callously. Hermione rolled her eyes, "fine." She said.

"What's you're biggest regret in your life?"

"Playing this bloody game." He got another shock. "Sod it, Granger, I'm not playing this childs game any longer." He said dropping her wand.

"Okay, fine Severus, sorry, forget that question. I'll ask you another." She said as he slowly picked up her wand.

"Do you think I'm beautiful?" Severus glared at her and dropped her wand.

"Yes Granger, this game is finished." He said picking back up his book. "Go to someone else to get the attention you desire." He said indifferently as he began reading.

"What's so bad with answering the question? Believe me you aren't going to hurt my feelings if you say no. Unless, you think I am beautiful, in which case you didn't answer the question to save yourself from the truth." She said smiling as Severus continued to read, ignoring her. She sighed and sat back. She then sat up.

"Let's go to Hogsmade." She said.

"No, we went last night." He said as he continued to read. She again sighed. She looked at the book that was taking all of Severus' attention. It didn't show a title.

"Then let's go somewhere else." She said. "No." He said. She sighed in frustration.

"What is in that bloody book that is so interesting?" She asked.

"I'll let you borrow it when I'm done. I've only just started." He said as he turned the page.

"What is it called?" She asked.

"Paracelsus, The Biography of Auroleus Phillipus Theophrastus Bombastus von Hohenheim." He said.

"I've wanted to read that book, but I can never find it." She said surprised that he had it.

"Should've looked harder." He said apathetically, inwardly grinning. She looked at him annoyed.

"Read it to me." She said. He looked up at her for a minute then went back to his book.

"I've already started; I don't want to start over." He said into the book. Hermione rolled her eyes and lifted his arms away from his legs and laid her head on the arm of the settee lying on his lap.

"You don't have to, just continue." She said closing her eyes. Severus was about to argue when she opened her eyes and said, "please?" Yes, she would be his undoing. He sighed and began reading aloud. Severus tried to push away the feeling of how right this was, and tried to think of how much she irritated him.

After a while he got tired, he looked down at her and saw that her breathing was slower, and her face was calm. She was sleeping. She looked absolutely gorgeous. He put the book down and brushed some stray hairs from her face. He was thought about taking her to his bed, and then he reprimanded himself.

He lifted her easily and held her close to his chest. Hermione snuggled herself closer to him. He then heard her mumbling something. He strained his ears to hear, but then she stopped. Then he heard her clear. "Merlin, do you smell unbelievable." She said smiling. He stilled, thinking she was awake and playing with him. After a few minutes he realized that she wasn't, and he smiled. He brought her to her rooms and left quickly before any thoughts came to his head. From that night on, that was how they spent their evenings, her laying in his lap while he read to her, or talking over a cup of tea.

* * *

a/n - okay, again a light chappie, but the next chapter is going to have some heavier stuff. Oh, and if you want to know what Severus smelled like, get a sample of True Star for men, it smells great! Thanks again to all of those who reviewed. And please review makes me update faster.


	6. Trusting Himself with Her

Disclaimer: I don't own anything

Chapter 6 – Trusting Himself with Her

(seven weeks later; after chapter 5)

It was a normal Saturday morning at breakfast safe for the students who were enthusiastically talking about the Halloween Ball that the Headmistress had just announced which was taking place next week for third year and above.

Hermione sat in her usual spot next to Severus looking through the Daily Prophet an Article caught her attention. After reading it she gasped. Severus turned to her and looked at the article she was looking at. He snorted.

"Of course that ridiculous law was rejected. House Elves aren't going to be free. They know they're place, and it's doing whatever their masters tell them to do. Hermione, it's their purpose." Severus said nonchalantly.

"Please tell me you're joking." Hermione said outraged.

"No." He said simply.

"Severus, they're practically human! They have a brain, which they know how to use well, they can speak to use clearly, and they have feelings. They are almost no different then us! How can you honestly say that you would banish a whole species to slavery!" She asked.

"Easy, Hermione, that is what their species is there for." He said indifferently. Hermione looked infuriated. She stood up and walked out of the Great Hall. Severus sighed and followed her. He caught up with her before she went into her rooms.

"Hermione, they're called House Elves for a reason."

"Because back in 1905, a boy named William Praetner forgot what they were called and started calling them House Elves, and it caught on. Honestly Severus, don't you read?" She said. He frowned. "Okay, Hermione, listen, the House Elves want to serve us. That's all they know. They want to."

"Right, like Dobby wanted to?"

"There's always one that's missing a few screws."

"Severus, they feel and hurt like we do. And to think that they slave away doing what we're too lazy to do, and they're hit when they don't. What if it were you?"

"That's why I thank my stars I was born a wizard."

"Right, not like a house elf, giant, or even a mudblood, right? What a disgrace." She said her eyes flashing dangerously.

Severus was also angry; the conversation was ridiculous, she knew where he stood on it, so she shouldn't be angry with him for his opinions or thoughts. So he fought back.

"Exactly, what a disgrace." He said blindly. Hermione gasped. She then slapped him.

"Being a mudblood isn't by choice, but being a friendless, greasy-haired, ugly, idiot of a deatheater is. No wonder you're alone." She said as she slammed the door in his face.

Severus strode to his quarters furiously. Merlin help the student who passed him in the hallways. He made it to his quarters and slammed the door. He didn't remember a time when he was so angry. And it was all his fault. He let her in, and she hurt him, more than he thought possible. Sure, he hurt her, but he didn't think it was more than how much he was hurting. He thought about apologizing to her, but that moment passed. He sat in his chair staring at the fire and did not move. Well he did on occasion after he called Jemmy for some bottles of firewhiskey and he took some swigs.

On the otherside of the castle Hermione lie on her bed crying. She could not believe how rude he was to her. 'Does he really think that of me?' She asked herself. She heard a knock on her door. She didn't say anything, 'maybe they'll go away.' She thought. She knew it couldn't be Severus. She heard her door open, she sighed.

"Who the hell is it?" Hermione asked in her pillow.

"It's me Gin. Mione, what's wrong? You left the Great Hall looking upset. What happened?" She asked climbing on her bed. Hermione sighed and sat up.

"It's Severus. We got into a fight. He was completely out of line." She said wiping some tears.

"Why what happened?" She asked. Hermione explained to Ginny in detail what happened. After she finished Ginny sat there silent. "Don't you think I have a right to be mad?" She asked.

"Honestly?" Ginny asked. Hermione nodded her head.

"No, Mione I don't. It's his opinion and you should respect that. Hermione, Draco and I don't agree on a lot of things. But beat your ass we agree to disagree. He was probably angry and said things he didn't mean. Do you think Snape would be friends or even associate himself with you if he thought you were a disgrace? I don't think so." She said.

"Mione, you're dealing with a Slytherin and an ex-deatheater at that, they're not going to be the easiest. Believe me I have one myself, but you have to try. The things you said to him, well they probably hit home for Snape. You know how he is, he probably thought that of himself, so for you to say it. It probably hurt like hell." She added.

Hermione hadn't thought of it that way. She had no right to be angry. "I know you've told me and Angie a thousand times that you guys are just friends. But you guys bring out the best of each other. I've never seen him smile, and now he's always smiles when he's around you. I don't now Mione, you did something to him." She said.

Hermione jumped off her bed. "You're right. Listen, I gotta go. Thanks Gin." Hermione said running out the door. She headed down to Severus' room hoping he was there. She was glad she had friends like Ginny and Angie, who told her when she was being a complete dunderhead. When she got there she knocked on the door. Normally she would just say the password and enter, but this time it was different. He didn't answer, so she knocked again. Still nothing. She began to get worried. She continued to knock. The door suddenly opened and she saw a disheveled looking Severus.

"W-What do y-you w-want?" He asked somewhat slurred. His breath smelled of firewhiskey.

"Severus, are you sloshed? I've only been gone thirty minutes." She said.

"W-What do you care? I'amm just a deatheater. W-Who cares if I'm dead?" He said turning from her and walking ungracefully into his quarters.

"Severus, I care." She said as she slipped in and closed the door.

"It's Snape to you." He said. She walked in front of him.

"Severus, I'm sorry. I was so out of line. You have a right to your opinions. I'm sorry about everything I said. I didn't mean any of it. You mean so much to me; you're a really good friend. I'm sorry I made you question that." She said.

He looked at her apathetically. "Are you finished?" He asked. She raised a brow. "Yeah, I guess." She said.

"I do not forgive you. You're such a prissy mudblood bitch. You think your thoughts, opinions, and needs are above everyone else's. Who the fuck do you think you are? I put up with you while gritting my teeth and staying quiet. But I am done with that. Yes, I was a deatheater and if you think I'm going to let you throw that shit in my face every time you get angry you got another thing coming." He said walking towards her.

He was upset and there was a glint in his eyes she never saw before. She started backing up as he advanced. "Do you want me to show you what a deatheater like me did to you mudblood whores during our meetings?" He asked.

Hermione was scared now, she never seen him like this before, and to make it worse, her back hit one of his bookshelves. 'Shit!" She thought. She shook her head to Severus' question.

"Oh, you're going to find out." He said as he put his hands on either side of her head. He was about to give her a forceful kiss when she quickly kneed him in the growing.

"Merlin, Snape. What the hell did you think you were going to do?" She asked stunned as he lie on the floor holding his sore spot. He quickly stood up.

"What the hell is wrong with you?"

"Are you fucking sober now?" She asked.

"Granger-."

"No! You had you're chance to talk!" She said as she went into his kitchen and looked through his cabinet for a sobering potion she had made for him a few weeks back. She found it and tossed at him.

"Take this and never come within three feet of me again!" She said as she passed him. As she passed he tried to grab her.

"Get you filthy hands off of me Snape!" She said.

"Hermione, I'm-."

"No! I don't want to hear it! I tried Snape, I really did. But after this, I just don't think I can." She said as he let her go. "I'm sorry."

She said as she left. She went to her room and stayed there the rest of the day. Severus stared at the door after she left. He thought about not taking the sobering potion and continue to get sloshed. But he decided against it and took it. Sober he felt worse than he did drunk. He didn't think that he would've rapped her, but he didn't know.

She had apologized for everything, and it was what he wanted, but he just through it all in her face. He didn't know what to say. He showed her the part of him that he wanted to keep hidden, she didn't want to know that side of him. But as much as he wanted to keep it locked up, he just couldn't control himself at times.

He sat in his chair and stared at the fire. He didn't move. He sat there all day. In the evening he turned his chair toward the door to see if Hermione would show up. She usually came at this time. He sat there for hours trying to will her to come to his door. But she never showed up.

The next day they both did the same as they did the previous day. Somehow the day seemed to go by slower when they weren't together. Severus knew he should apologize, but he didn't know the best way to go about it. And she deserved nothing less than the best.

The next day on his break he decided that he should just do it or else he never would. He approached her classroom cautiously. He knocked uncertainly. "Come in." He heard her say. He walked in hesitantly and took a deep breath. She wasn't looking at him, but instead at the papers she was currently grading. For a minute he lost himself and his words and just stood there. This caused Hermione to look up. When she saw him her face turned cold and she looked back down at her papers.

"Is there something you wanted, Professor Snape?" She asked. He didn't like the way she addressed him, but he guessed he deserved it.

"Hermione, I want to apologize. I was drunk and as a result I wasn't thinking. I'm truly sorry. I never meant for any of it. I would never willingly hurt you." He said.

"But you did." She said as she continued to grade her papers.

"I know, and I'm sorry. I was drunk I didn't mean what I said, and again, I'm sorry. I just want us to go back to normal. I want-."

"Are you ever going to let me in?" She asked catching him off guard.

"Excuse me?" He asked.

"Are you ever going to let me in? Are we ever going to talk about anything other than potions, me, students, books, colleagues, weather, or anything else other than you? Are we ever going to talk about you?" She asked looking at him.

He just stared at her. He definitely didn't expect that. "I don't know." He said after a while. If it was for him they would never talk about him. He didn't want her to know about his past or him. She was sure to run away.

"Then I don't want your friendship. I don't want to force you to open up to me, but if you're never going to trust me with yourself, then I don't want to keep trying. You hurt me a lot the other day. And that what happens when you try to bury the past, when it rains it'll rise." She said.

Severus closed his eyes and sighed. He wanted to tell her that he needed her. He wanted to tell her that there was no way he was going back to how life was before her. He could now get a halfway decent sleep with their late night talks or reading sessions.

She had changed him and he didn't want to go back to what he was before. But when he opened his eyes and the words couldn't seem to form.

"I'm sorry, I just can't do this anymore. You know where the door is." She said going back to her papers. When he played the seen out in his head before he got there he wasn't going to leave without a fight, but it wasn't how it was played out in the end. He turned around and took his leave.

He went to his classroom. He was in a foul mood, so as a result half of his students in his next class left in tears. Yes things changes severely for Severus. Hermione now sat on the other side of the professors table in the Great Hall with Weasley and Malfoy, she stopped going to his room to read and she went out of her way to avoid him, even when they were in the same room.

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a/n - Thanks to everyone who reviewed, I hope you liked that chapter. Review please!

Duj - Gryffindors: Minerva, Neville, Angelina, Seamus, Oliver, Ginevra, Hermione, Hagrid  
Unidentified stranger (at any rate, I don't remember him in canon): Alexander Montague  
Unidentified canon characters: Sybil, Vector, Sinistra  
Slytherins: Snape, Draco  
Hufflepuff: Hannah  
That's a terrible imbalance in the staff, 8 Gryffindors and 7 non-Gryffindors - 8 if the librarian is one of the latter but you haven't mentioned one). Who are the heads of Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw now?

-Actually, yes, Montague, Trelawney, Vector, and Sinstra are in the books, you just have to read carefully. And I like my 'imbalanced' staff members. If you don't like my fic, then you don't have to read it. But, I do welcome your criticism, thanks a lot for thereview, I appreciate it.


	7. Not Drinking the Punch

Disclaimer: I don't own anything

Chapter 7 – Not Drinking the Punch

Severus found himself at a surprise staff meeting Thursday morning. He peered at Hermione for the seventh time since the meeting started which was about two minutes ago. He couldn't get her out of his head. And to make it worse, she didn't seem like she had the hardest time forgetting him. She hadn't glanced at him once since he left her classroom on Monday. As a result, he's been in a vile mood ever since.

It was as if she didn't care if they were friends, and the last two months meant nothing. And that hurt him more than anything she could've said to him.

Minerva stood up and began. "Sorry for this surprise staff meeting, just minutes before your first classes. But I have some issues to address." She said smiling.

"Duties will be as followed, Draco, Ginny, Seamus, and Hannah, are to be checking the students in, and making sure that they are properly dressed. Sybil, Vanessa, Vincent, and Hagrid are to be making sure the hallways are clear and making sure no one tries to sneak into the backdoors. Everyone else will be on duty at the ball making sure everything goes well." She smiled.

"And please, everyone on staff has to bring a date; _no_ one goes solo, no one." She threatened. 'Great, just what I bloody need.' He thought as he got a hopeless glance from Abbott. 'I'd rather go with Trelawney,' he thought bitterly as he glared at her.

"Meeting adjourned." Minerva said as she walked toward Severus. Being his only current friend, Severus told Minerva of what happened.

"Severus do you have a date yet?" She asked rather loudly while Hermione was on the other side of the room gathering her things to leave.

"No, Minerva, you know I don't." Severus said gritting his teeth. 'She was so obvious.' He thought.

"Hermione," She said as Hermione was making her exit. Hermione turned and faced the Headmistress.

"Hermione dear, Severus does not have a date to the Halloween Ball. I'm sure he would love it if you accompanied him, since you're such good friends." She smiled.

"I'd rather spend the night devouring my own waste." She said apathetically as she left without so much as a glance his way. Severus was seething, 'how dare her, in front of his colleagues?'

Minerva chuckled. "She certainly acquired you way with words Severus." She said. He glared at her.

"I'm not going with anyone Severus. Maybe I could accompany you?" Sinistra said. But Severus did not hear a word of it, as he was out the door chasing down Hermione. He caught up with her in her classroom.

"Hermione I need to talk to you!" He said as he closed the door.

"Professor Snape, it's Professor Granger, and I have a class in ten minutes." She said turning her back to him.

"Hermione, I'm sick of this! I don't like this silent treatment. You treated me better when we weren't friends. Are we enemies now Hermione?" He asked her furious at the mere thought. She said nothing.

"Hermione please don't say we're enemies! I know I could never ask for your forgiveness but this is too much! I can't take it anymore!" He said. She still said nothing. She didn't hear him come up behind her. "I need you too much." He whispered in her ear. His hot breath on her ear and her neck. She involuntarily closed her eyes, and her heart sped its rate.

By the time she turned around he was gone. She wondered if it was just a dream. She wanted to be friends with him, but if he couldn't let her in, then she didn't want it. She wanted all of him, or nothing. 'Why couldn't he understand? Hadn't I given him all of me?' She thought sorely.

Saturday came too quickly for both Severus and Hermione. Severus learned from Minerva that Hermione was going to the ball with Montague. He ended up being stuck with Sinistra, who was a better option then Abbott, he would've gladly went with Hagrid rather then her. He stood in his mirror trying to fix his hair appropriately.

Normally he didn't care, but Hermione was going to be there, and he wanted to look nice for her. He thought about putting his hair in a ponytail, but he decided against it. Instead he let his hair down. Since it was a formal dance, no costumes allowed, Severus was wearing a black suit with a black shirt and dark green tie.

He looked at the mirror in rile. He figured his appearance couldn't get any better, there was nothing much to do with his repulsive look. He left his quarters and left to pick up Sinistra. He decided to make it a point to arrive twenty minutes late so she knew where she stood with him.

As they entered the decorated Great Hall her arm in his, his heart stopped. As a result he stopped moving and just stared at the beautiful woman that was laughing at something Montague said, he presumed. She had a strapless black long sleek dress that flared at the bottom cover her shoes, and the top was a dark green that ended just under her bust. Her hair parted to the side and held back in a tight bun that showed every highlight in her hair, and was wearing very little make-up. She looked breathtaking.

His thoughts were interrupted by Sinistra. "She looks absolutely stunning." She said as Severus tore his eyes off of her. He did not look at Sinistra nor respond. Hermione stood next to the drink table outright bored. Montague was somewhere trying to 'hide' from Luna. She smiled at the thought. It was actually Montague who couldn't stay away from. He found himself completely fascinated and entrapped by her, as if under some spell.

She was about to pour herself some punch when she saw Abby coming her way wiping a stray tear. Hermione tried hard not to roll her eyes. "Are you okay Abby?" She asked.

"No!" She said as if offended by the very question.

"What's wrong?" Hermione forced out.

"It's Snape, he's hear with another woman!" She said. Hermione rose a brow. "I thought you came here with Neveille?"

"I did! But we only just broke up! How insensitive!" She said. At this Hermione was sure the girl needed to be escorted to St. Mungo's immediately. "Um, sweety, you and Severus were never really going out." She said gently.

"Yes, we were, and now he's here with another woman!" She said outraged. Hermione looked at her trying to figure her out. "What exactly do you see in him?" She asked.

"Okay, look at him." She started as they both looked at Severus who was currently talking to Draco. "Look at his hair, sure in school; it used to be greasy, slicked back and a little shorter. But now he keeps it shoulder length, hanging down, when you look at it, you just want to slide you hands through, just to see if it's as silky as it looks. And believe me Hermione it is." She said glancing at her. She looked back at him.

"His face isn't as skeletal as it used to be, it's full. And his teeth are white, and he has an absolutely brilliant smile. Being a deatheater and spy has definitely kept him in shape, and it shows. He was very broad shoulders and really nice big arms. He's not skinny like he used to be. And his hands are huge, can you imagine how it feels when there protecting and holding yours? And he smells so great. And today, he looks as good as ever. He changed a lot after the war." She continued as Hermione just nodded in agreement indifferently as they stared at him. "I guess." She said shrugging.

Abby sighed and walked away. Hermione continued to stare at him, though she looked indifferent, her mind was reeling. Abby was right. Severus did look amazing. She didn't know why she didn't see it before. He did have a beautiful smile, his hair was silky, his body was practically perfect, and he smelt to die for.

She looked away for fear of losing her balance. She felt unwell. What was she thinking? 'This was Snape we're talking about!' She said as she tried to regain her composure. 'Just Snape.' She said as she finally regained her composure, sighed and turned to look at him one more time. She was surprised to find butterflies going wild in her stomach. 'Since when does this happen?' She thought. 'The children probably put something in the punch.' She thought as she stepped out into the garden for some air, and hopefully some sagacity.

The ball was going by to slowly for Severus' liking. All anyone talked about was how utterly magnificent Hermione looked. And that troubled him to no end. It was then he realized that he had no chance with her, and that his feelings were completely unrealistic for a man like him. Hermione deserved someone like Montague, who would compliment her, not an unsightly, abominable deatheater, such as himself.

He excused himself and stepped out into the garden for some air. He didn't know what to do with himself anymore, and for the life of him, he didn't remember what life was like before Hermione. He looked out into the garden.

"What am I going to do?" He asked himself running his hands through his hair.

"Well firstly stop talking to yourself or I'll be forced to send you to St. Mungo's with Abby." Hermione said smiling on a bench not too far behind him. She turned to her in shock.

He turned back around in anger. "Talking to me, are we Miss Granger?" He said.

Hermione stood up and very slowly approached him. "Obviously." Was all she said. This angered Severus more. 'How dare she act so blasé after giving him the silent treatment for what seemed like evermore.

"Miss Granger-." He said, but stopped dead in his tracks when she appeared in front of him staring into his eyes as if searching for something.

"It's Hermione." She said. He was too shocked to say anything. She brought a hand up to his face and ran it through his hair. Abby was right it felt like pure silk. "I didn't drink any of the punch." She said more to herself than Severus. He looked at her confused. She pulled her hand from his hair and stared blank faced at him. He didn't know whether he should be worried with her strange behavior or be euphoric that she was talking to him and running her hands through his hair.

She couldn't seem to understand where these feelings came from. Had she felt them all along or was it just that night? She realized that she was staring and smiled lightly at him.

"Yes Severus, we can be friends again." She said finding herself. She guessed she could be happy with what he was offering for now. She would find a way to get him to trust her sooner or later. But right now all she wanted was to be around him. Severus smiled.

"Thanks, I really need it." He said. She smiled wider. "Read to me?" She asked. He rose a brow. "What about the ball, we can't very well leave." He said. She grabbed his hand, trying to force the butterflies and the feeling of rightness away. "Yes we blood well can!" She said as they headed to his room.

When they got there, they took their usual spots, with Severus sitting up straight at the edge of the couch, with Hermione laying on his lap with her head on the arm of the couch. As he began to read, she then realized how much she missed this, and the feeling it gave her. Severus inwardly grinned. Of all the people at the ball, Hermione choose to go back with him. Though he felt like he didn't, it still made him feel like he had a slight chance with the beautiful Gryffindor, and that was enough for him.

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a/n – Okay, I know I totally sucked on the description of the dress, but if youwant I can tellyou th site and you can check it out.So I hope you guys liked that chapter. Thanks for the reviews, you guys are great. Review, and tell me how I'm doing! http/ 


	8. Resisting Her

Disclaimer: I don't own anything

Chapter 8 – Resisting Her

"Checkmate." Severus said grinning sitting back in his chair. Hermione rolled her eyes.

"You could've won ages ago. How very Slytherin of you to prolong my demise." She sighed.

"Yes, and how very Hufflepuff of you to let me." He said still grinning after his win.

"Stuff it Snape. Fine, whatever, you won. We can go to your favorite restaurant." She said standing up. "But next time we're playing poker." She said smiling. No one could ever beat her in poker. Severus said nothing as he stood up and grabbed their cloaks.

This was a normal Saturday afternoon for them. Just spending the day talking (arguing) and eating. They arrived at the restaurant and ordered. Hermione looked around taking in her surroundings while Severus took her in.

"You know I've never actually been in here. Witch Weekly states the food here is to die for. And the Daily Prophet hails it for its beauty." She said as she continued to look around.

"Still a know-it-all I see." He said slightly amused.

"Still a git then?" She said rolling her eyes.

"You can't have one conversation with me without verbalizing a word for word account of something you've read in a book." He said trying to irritate her.

"And you can't have a conversation without letting everyone feel as cross as you are. Why do you constantly frustrate me?"

"Why do you rise to the occasion?" He said as she glared at him trying not to smile.

"Cause you make it so easy." She said taking a drink of her water.

"I can say the same." He smirked.

There was a silence for a moment before Severus heard a voice he had not heard in a couple of years. It was a distinct regal voice with poise and influx that said "Severus," in a way he knew all too well. He closed his eyes for a moment then slowly turned to the woman who had caused his past life to crumble in shame and sorrow. Narcissa Black, formally known as Malfoy. "Narcissa, what a pleasant surprise." He forced.

She was a beautiful as ever. It was then he knew Hermione was right; you cannot forget nor stop loving your first love. She looked surprise, but still remained dignified.

"Yes, this is my favorite restaurant. I come here often." She explained as they stared at each other. Neither of them realizing Hermione presence.

"Yes, well. Are you dining alone?" He asked as they continued to hold each others stare.

Narcissa was surprised to say the least. Severus was not someone she wanted to see. It had been years since they're last meeting. He looked better than she could have imagined. Ever since she met him in her second year he has been nothing but trouble for her and her heart. She found she could not keep her mind off of him in her young age, and the same was proving to be true in her older years.

"Yes, I seldom find myself dining with company." She said looking into the eyes of the man she loved for years.

Hermione was beside herself with anger and curiosity. They were acting as if she didn't exist. Severus in her eyes seemed to be mesmerized with this ex-Malfoy. She guessed there must have been something between them. She silently cursed him for not telling her he wasn't single. She wanted him to trust her. She stared at him. He was wearing a button up white shirt with black slacks. His hair was down and he had a light beard, from not shaving for a few days.

Hermione couldn't help but think he looked good. For reasons unknown to her at the moment, it made her upset, the way Severus was looking at this Black. After the moment had passed she realized that she was jealous. Severus never looked at her like that (when she was looking). She felt betrayed by her own emotions and a little ill, she knew she had to get out of there as soon as possible. She stood up. The two looked at her for the first time since Narcissa had arrived.

"I'm going to go, I have a lot of things to do. So I'm just going to go and leave you two to talk." She said gathering her cloak and bag.

Severus too felt ill. One of them had to leave, and for the life of him he couldn't decide which. It was between the woman who has knowingly killed him for years, or the woman who brought him to life everyday with just one smile. Between a woman who he always loved or the woman who he had strong feelings for. No, he did not know. He couldn't even look at Hermione anymore, an unfamiliar feeling stirred in the pit of his stomach when he did.

"Narcissa Black, a pleasure to meet you." She said frowning. "Hermione Granger." She said simply. Narcissa lifted a brow vaguely surprised at her beauty despite being an undeserving mudblood.

"Yes, one of the brightest potions mistresses ever, so the Daily Prophet says." She said.

"Well they do have a way of embellishing things don't they." Hermione said.

"I'm glad you know that." She said as Hermione lifted a threatening brow.

"I'm going to go." Hermione said as she walked away.

Severus knew he should've called after her, he knew it, yet he said nothing. He just watched her disappear as Narcissa sat in her seat.

"I'm surprised at you." She said taking his attention. "I thought you better then to go for a mudblood like Granger. Severus, you know you're better then that." She said. Severus felt his blood boil.

"You obviously don't know what better is." He said through his teeth.

"Obviously you've forgotten. Severus, she is beautiful, but do not even begin to think that she knows where you like to be touched." She said slipping her hand up his thigh.

"Cissa," he said reluctantly throwing her hand away.

"It's been six years since Lucius died, and yet you have not been by to see me. Have you grown to hate me that much?" She asked.

"You know I could never hate you Cissa, but our time has long past, if there was ever such a time. And Hermione and I are just friends, if not just colleagues. But if ever it were more, it would be none of your business." He said simply.

"Severus, why can't we be together? I still love you like I did when we were younger. Now there is nothing stopping us." She said urgently. She missed him.

"Cissa, stop this. We are not to talk of this anymore." He whispered dangerously.

"You're different." She said. "As are you." He said as the waiter came with their food.

Meanwhile Hermione walked into the Leaky Cauldron just as Montague was. "Opps, sorry." She mumbled as she looked up at the person she bumped into.

"Hermione! What a pleasure. Are you dinning alone?" He asked looking tired. "Yes," She said.

"Well then, join me. I don't like to eat alone." He said, she nodded, and they went in and got a table.

"So where's Severus tonight. Aren't you two always together?" He asked.

"I have no clue." She lied. "Huh," He said as he sensed something more. They sat in silence for a moment, and then Montague relieved it.

"I don't get you women! I gave her whatever she wanted, and yet she still says no to me!" He said frustrated.

"Luna?" She asked. He nodded.

"I told her everything and gave her everything. What more does she want? I can't just tell everyone that I'm in love with her. I would look like an idiot. I'm a Montague, what would they say, me with that nut." He said. Hermione looked at him incredulously.

"You are an idiot. If you were in love with her, you wouldn't be so embarrassed but proud. Merlin, you men are dunderheads. I mean, why can't you guys see what's in front of you? We're right here. And yet you'd rather wait for something seemingly better to come along than to appreciate the real thing in front of you. He didn't even look at me when she came in the room. Like I wasn't even there." She said as he looked at her nodding in understanding.

"Call me Alex; I think we both need some firewhiskeys." He said as she agreed. He waved to the waiter, who quickly came with some drinks.

After a short dinner Severus headed to the castle. He needed to find and apologize to Hermione. He got to Hermione's quarters and knocked. He could never bring himself to just say the password and walk in as Hermione did with him. He didn't even want to know her password, though she offered many times. She didn't answer. He continued to knock. After the twentieth time he finally asked the painting if she had retired for the night. The painting informed him that she hadn't seen her since morning. He went down to her classroom. It too was empty. He was confused. He went to Minerva's office. Maybe they were having some tea. No, she was not there either. He headed to the kitchen hoping to find her there, but he didn't. 'Where the hell is she?' He thought worried.

He didn't want to panic, but terrible things were flying through his head. And the ones that he was trying to push away were the ones that involved Cissa. Pushing all thoughts away, he stood in a corner at the main doors of the castle and waited. An hour later, exactly two minutes before Severus was planning to search Diagon Ally for her,

Montague walked through the doors cradling Hermione against his chest. Severus leaped to Montague.

"What happened?" He demanded.

"I took her drinking, and well, we got drunk and she passed out. She's a gather flirty drunk." Montague said still tipsy.

Severus was furious, not just with Montague, but with himself. "Hand her over." Severus said. "Okay, okay, no need to get cross." He said as he slipped Hermione into Severus' arms. Without another word Severus was off.

He wanted to take her to her room, but again he didn't know the password. So he went to his quarters. He put her in his bed. He sighed. He had wanted to see her in his bed since she came to the school as a professor, but not this way. He again felt ill. He cursed himself for leaving her to walk by herself through the streets at the late hour. If only Narcissa had never shown up. He would've gladly gone to Hermione's favorite muggle restaurant than that one.

He looked at her; she looked radiant, despite the fact that she was passed out. He pushed some stray hairs out of her face. She lifted her hand and placed it on her face to keep his there. "Alex, you smell like Severus." She mumbled as she let go of his hand and fell into a deep slumber. Severus sighed wishing that he could redo the whole night. Narcissa had always been a thorn in his side. Ever since they became friends and then fell in love, it had proved to be nothing but a mistake. The biggest mistake he's ever made. He again sighed and left the room.

Hermione reluctantly opened her eyes. She hadn't remembered going to bed. She sat up and her head felt like it was exploding. "Boger." She said she held her head in her hands. She put her hands down as she promised never to go drinking again….without taking hangover potion first.

She looked down and froze. She was sleeping on green sheets. Her heart started racing. This wasn't her bed. 'Did I sleep with Alex last night?' She thought. She looked around. The walls were covered in exquisite paintings, the room looked expensively decorated. Horror flooded her senses. She had slept with Montague. It was the only thing that made sense. He wouldn't have let her go home with anyone else, and this definitely looked like a Slytherin's room.

"Are you okay?" She heard Severus asked. She looked at him as he walked into the room. She was confused now.

"What am I doing here?" She asked.

"You passed out after your drinks with Montague, and I brought you here." He said approaching her. He handed her some hangover potion. "Take this." He said.

She took it, but didn't drink it. "Thanks." She said as she took off the covers and began to stand up slowly. "Thanks for all your help." She said awkwardly.

"I think I better go back to my quarters now." She said slightly embarrassed.

"No I think you should lie down and take the potion. If you vomit before you take the potion, you can't take it anymore. And I assure you, you will heave before you get there." He said.

"I am a potions mistress; I do know how the potion works." She said curtly.

"Hermione, would you just please lay down?" He asked slightly pleading. She sighed and lie back down.

"I guess for a minute while I take the potion." She said not exactly knowing how to act after what happened last night. After she got in and took the potion, Severus sat down beside her.

"About last night-."

"I'm sorry, I didn't know you and Narcissa were….in a relationship…of…sorts, I didn't want to intrude or anything, I was just planning to slip away." She said feeling a bit out of place.

"No, Narcissa and I are not in a relationship of any sorts now, anyways, but we were, a long time ago." He said pausing, not really knowing how to put it in words. He looked out his window.

"We were just friends, with benefits. Anything more with her was off limits because she belonged to Lucius, a good friend. But as our friendship grew we both fell in love with each other. I couldn't get enough of her. But she always tried to make me jealous by snogging Lucius in front of me, or encouraging Lucius to embarrass me in public. I didn't mind too much, because I knew it was worth it…at the time. She always loved when I was she did better than me. She wanted me to be beneath her in anyway. She liked it that way."

"But Lucius was proving to be a bad influence on her, as he lead her deeper into the dark arts….and she influenced me. She took advantage of the fact that I had no family and no other close friends. She made me believe that the deatheaters and Voldermort would be my family. And for a little while they were, like brothers." He paused. She sat up and crossed her legs next to him. He laughed harshly.

"Some family, they abused me, mentally, and physically. We abused each other, as if it were a way of life. We were blinded….by the lies that Voldermort told us….by our ambition. I was there because she just merely asked. I realized then that she was not just egging Lucius to embarrass me or strike me, but the other deatheaters also, who I can only presume she also had a personal relationship with."

"She would stand there and watch with a smile as they beat me, or taunted me. I wanted to leave many times, but she was like a drug to me, I couldn't resist. But I Albus…Albus saved me; he reached out to me when I was in the darkest corner in the depths of my mind. He gave me my life back. He was like a father to me." He took a deep breath. Hermione put her hand on his, encouraging him to go on.

"The last time I saw her was at the award ceremony after the war, she told me that I was a traitor, and that I deserved to die, but later asking me back to her manner. It took everything in me to say no, I could never resist her. But I did. So when I saw her last night, it was as if…Hermione, I'm sorry I let you go, I should have left with you. I blame myself for the cause of you hangover. And for that, I'm terribly sorry." He said dejectedly looking to her.

"It's okay. But if you really think about it, it's my fault; I really suck at wizard's chess." She said smiling. He smiled weakly.

"I really am sorry Hermione." He said desolately.

"I know." She said squeezing his hand. He wanted to tell her more, but he couldn't. The truth was so much darker than she could imagine, and it would surely drive her away….for good.

* * *

a/n - I'm sorry that it took so long for me to update. I'm originally from Glasgow, Scotland, but I moved to South Florida when I was younger. So I lost electricity, thanks to Hurricane Wilma, so I couldn't update.Again thanks to everyone who reviewed. Review!


	9. Of the Boy He Was and the Man He's Gro

Disclaimer: I don't own anything

Chapter 9 – Of the Boy He Was and the Man He's Grown to Be

"Are you ready yet?" Severus asked Hermione as she opened the door to her quarters for him. In about thirty minutes they were due to leave for the Potion's Convention.

"Um, actually no." She said as he looked around the chaotic room. Clothing and shoes covered the room.

"I can't seem to fit all my shoes in two bags. I thought of bringing another one, but that would equal six in all. And that would be ridiculous." She said concluded.

"As opposed to the five?" Severus asked in his usual mocking tone. Hermione rolled her eyes.

"Well how many bags do you have?"

"Two." He said promptly. She again rolled her eyes and pretended she didn't hear him as she looked around the room trying to solve her problem.

"Okay, Hermione let me help you." He offered. She looked pointedly at him.

"You are only allowed to bring three bags, and you can use half of one of mine. Try to make everything fit. If something does not fit, it doesn't go." He said with a tone that left no room for argument. Hermione knew that tone well. She suppressed a grin. She opened her mouth to say something but then shut it.

"Agreed?" He asked. She glared at him.

"I suppose my things will fit in three bags and a half." She muttered.

"I'm sure." Severus said as she started repacking.

He walked to her shelves and started to take a mental note of all the books he did not retain. "So guess who I hear is hosting the Potion's Convention?" She said not really waiting for an answer, she wasn't entirely sure that he was listening.

"Professor Bently." They both said in unison. Hermione smiled. She liked the fact that he listened to her meaningless chattering, even when he was preoccupied as if everything she said was important to him.

"You know I never actually met him." She continued.

"Which is not entirely a bad thing. He's sort of a dodgy character." He said as he flipped through the pages of a book that caught his eye.

"Well, he still is brilliant." She added.

"Yes, well there is always a hint of brilliance in the most ridiculous of people. Isn't that right, Hermione?" He said looking at her suggestively. She smirked and stuck her tongue out.

"And to think that you're a professor." He said contemptuously.

Before Hermione could retort there was a tapping at her window. They both turned to see an owl with a letter at her window.

"Are you expecting anything?" Severus asked. "No." She said heading to the window. She took the letter and read it.

_Dearest Hermione,_

_I know we haven't spoken in a while but I was_

_wondering if you'd come by as soon as possible._

_Hermione, last night my wife died and…I don't _

_think I can bear to be alone right now. I don't _

_think I can look after my daughter this weekend_

_alone. I just- I know it's been a long time, but this_

_would really mean a lot to me. I just don't think I_

_can stand to be alone right now. I just need someone._

_Please come as soon as you possibly can. There is_

_no need to send reply unless you can not come at all._

_You know where we reside._

_Thank you,_

_Victor Krum_

Hermione looked down at the letter horrified. After she said no to Victor's proposal so may years ago, he moved to London prefect his English, he was still a Bulgarian seeker, but he also owned his own company manufacturing his own brand of brooms. They were the most popular brooms in stores since its arrival and also the best.

He had married a rich English socialite named Kariann Pantaire. The last time she saw him was about a year ago when she bumped into him while in Hogsmeade. Hermione sighed heavily. She knew she would have to cancel her plans with Severus.

"Bad news?" He asked seeing the look on his face. She handed the letter to him. He read it quickly then looked up.

"Are you going?" He asked.

"Severus I have to. As much as I rather go to the Convention, this is important. He needs me." She said quickly shoving things into a bag.

"No Hermione. What he needs is to hire a nanny and to deal with this by himself. You can't help him with this. He needs to do it on his own. The last thing he needs is to run into the arms of his first love and an ex-girlfriend that he most likely still has feelings for. His wife just died."

"Oh please Severus, he does not harbour any feelings towards me. And you read how upset he was in the letter. I'd be betraying our friendship if I didn't go. It's my duty s a friend."

"Right, your duty as a friend. Hermione, tell me this, did you have any of friends around helping you get over Ron when he died? Did you call for Krum to be by your side?" He asked as Hermione glared at him.

"Severus, people deal with things in different ways. Some people need friends to be with them, others do not." She said.

"You can't be serious Hermione. This is just another way for him to get you now that his wife is gone." Severus said. Hermione sighed.

"You can't change my mind about this Severus." She said holding a bag in her hand.

"I'm really sorry, Severus I am. But he needs me right now." She said looking at him trying to make him understand. "I'll make it up to you. I really will." She said.

"Then you should be leaving then shouldn't you?" Severus said indifferently.

"Severus…."

"Bye Hermione." He said taking his exit. Hermione sighed. She didn't want to upset him, but at the same time Victor needed her more than Severus did at the moment. So she began to walk to Hogsmeade .

Severus was beside himself with anger. He couldn't understand how Hermione couldn't see that Krum was going to milk the situation for all it was worth and try to get back together with her. Severus went to his quarters and decided that he wasn't going to go to the Convention at all if it wasn't with Hermione.

Instead he'd entertain himself in his dungeons. He could spend a weekend without her. 'The silence would actually be a refreshing change.' He thought to himself. She was with him everyday for most of the day. He could stand to breathe a little.

Hermione took a deep breath and knocked on the door. Surprisingly Victor opened the door instead of a house elf. She gathered that he was awaiting her arrival. He knew she was prompt if nothing else.

Victor hadn't changed at all since she had first met him at Hogwarts during her fourth year. He was of course as handsome as ever. He looked like he hadn't slept, yet he maintained his poise as he stood in a burnt red robe.

"Hermione, I'm so glad you came. I really appreciate it." He said.

"It's no problem at all. I am very sorry for your loss." She said giving him a hug.

"Please, come in." He said leading her in. His manor was bigger than Hogwarts by far, and it was impressively decorated.

"I've forgotten that you have never been inside." He said to her looking around.

"Would you like me to give you a tour, while we talk of what has come to pass?" He asked. She laughed. He lifted a brow to her.

"I'm sorry, it's just your English, it's almost better than mine." She said at his inquiry.

"Well I learned it for you Hermione." He said as she stopped smiling.

"Yes, you can show me around the manor." Was all she said.

He took her by the hand and began to talk of Karian and her illness and death. He also introduced her to his two year old daughter, Ava. At the end of the tour he showed Hermione to the guest room. The rest of the day was spent catching up with each other.

The next day they sat in the garden drinking tea. "You must have really loved her." Hermione said after he described their relationship.

"Of course I loved her; she's the mother of my child. But it was that kind of love Hermione. It was a sort of respect. We didn't marry each other because we were in love. We married each other because the person we really loved was in love with someone else." He explained.

Hermione determined to look at everything but him said "oh." Which sounded lame even to her own ears.

"Hermione, I still love you with all of my heart. If you would just have me- if you would just open your heart to me I would take care of you. I would make sure you would never go through an ounce of pain. Hermione there is no one I want more than you.

"I want you to have my kids, grow old with me, I want to wake up with you in my arms, I want to go on dates with you, I want it to be forever you and me." He said looking pleadingly into her eyes.

Hermione was not expecting this. It came out of nowhere in her mind. "What?" She asked finding trouble finding other words.

"Hermione I want you to marry me. I know you probably can never get over Ron, but just show me how to love you and I'll do it. I'll do my best to make this work." He continued.

She was flattered to say the least. He was by far one of the sweetest guys she's ever met. But she did not want sweet. His proposal brought tears to her eyes and actually made her consider it, for only just a few passing seconds.

"I'm sorry Victor. I can't." She said softly. He looked away dejected.

"Victor, listen, we don't have anything in common. And I don't want to have to tell you how to love me, the right guy will know. I don't want you to take away my pain, its unrealistic; I just want someone to help me deal with it. I want him to be interested in the things that I'm interested in so we can argue about it.

"I want someone that can put me in my place when need be and handle the same. I need someone who challenges me. Someone who can handle me. I know that you can't." She sighed.

"Victor, I love you and I don't want you hurt. But I love you no more or less than I would my brother." She said as he swallowed visibly hard. He put on a look of understand and indifference.

"Hermione I have always thought that I'd let you go if you'd ever find someone better than me, someone who could make you happy. Even when you were with Ron. But I can't forget you, believe me I've tried." He sighed and stood up.

Hermione also stood up. She wiped her tears with her sleeve. She hated hurting him. He cupped her face and wiped her tears with his thumb.

"I'll never stop loving you Hermione Jane Granger, you're embedded in my very soul." He said as she started shaking with tears. He backed away and turned towards the door.

"You may take your leave whenever you wish, I no longer need your assistance. But I do suggest you get some rest before you do." He said. He then went inside.

Hermione made her way to the guest room and cried herself to sleep. When she awoke later that day she headed to Hogwarts.

Severus was sitting in his favorite chair, flipping through pages of a book he waited thirteen months to come out, and he was utterly bored. He sighed and slammed the book on his coffee table. He turned to the fire. Surely he was coming down with something.

He could usually sit relaxed reading a book. But somehow he couldn't do it. He was worried about Hermione. He wanted to know what she was doing, and if she was thinking of him. A knocked at his door bang on his door. He glared at the door annoyed. "Enter." He said.

The door opened and a woman took a few strides in. "Some things never change." She said as Severus' head snapped up.

"Narcissa, what brings you here?" He asked in pseudo calmness. She smirked and sat down next to him.

"I went to the Potions Masters Convention hoping to see you there. You go ever year." She said poise.

"I had better things to do." He lied.

"Apparently." She said. "I'm surprised you aren't here with the mudblood. I hear she occupies much of your time."

"What I do with my time is none of your business. But Merlin, where are my manors. Would you like a drink?" He asked getting up to pour himself a glass of wine.

"I think I'll pass. I'm still a bit shaky from the last time you tried to poison me." She smiled.

"Still on about that are you?" He asked sitting back down.

"I really miss you, Severus. You look good." She said after a few minutes of silence.

"As oppose to the hideous monster I resembled before?"

"You know I never thought you looked anything short of handsome."

"I also know that the only reason you want me now is because you know that you can't have me." He said taking a sip of his wine.

"Oh, on the contrary Severus, I've always got what I wanted. And I always will." She said.

"Narcissa-."

"She is just a girl. She cannot love you like I can. Not to mention the fact that she is too good for you. Severus I am the only person that's right for you. Half because I am the only person who knows everything about you, and still loves you and half because I am the only person that can deal with you." She said.

"Love?" He asked her carefully. She said nothing.

"Narcissa, what you call love and what I call love are two different things. You think love is merely loyalty and vocabulary. Your love led me to be a apathetic killer. You made me be someone I didn't want to be. You let the other deatheaters nearly kill me every meeting with your bouts of me being unfaithful to them.

"To you, your body is an accessory. You'll use it to get whatever you need. It was never exclusively for Lucius nor I. It was always just sex for you. When I want someone, I don't want to share. I want her to be mine. Love to me is fidelity, loyalty, activity, honesty, vocabulary, effort, and trial. It's something scared. That someone like you couldn't even begin to understand. You drop the word casually, and there is nothing casual about it."

"Oh please Severus, how self righteous. I didn't make you become anything. You did that. It was already in you to begin with, I didn't put it there. And as for using my body, well let's just say, I'd do anything for our Dark Lord and his rise to glory. And at the time you had no objections to having my body." She smirked as she scouted closer to him.

"Do you remember those days?" She asked grinning as she put her hand on his inner thigh and moving it up slowly trying to reach its destination. She leaned forward and started sucking his neck.

Severus wanted to protest, but he hadn't been touched in a long time, so he let her continue. She repositioned herself so that she was straddling his legs while she continued to rub his lower regions.

His body slowly started to respond, when one person came to his mind. Hermione. He quickly snapped opened his eyes which he didn't realized he closed, and pushed her off. She fell to the floor with a thump. They both stood up quickly.

"What in Merlin's name do you think you're doing?" Narcissa exploded.

"Narcissa, I apologize for pushing you but it had to be done. I know that you may not believe this but I am not the same person I was before. I've changed." He said as Narcissa looked at him incredulously.

"Oh, Severus stop this charade, it's getting a little ridiculous!"

"Narcissa, when will you realize what we were doing for that halfblood idiot was wrong?" He asked.

"Oh, please, you were playing both sides waiting to see which would prevail."

"Oh right Narcissa, like I would like to be serving that idiot for the rest of my days, instead of living free to live my life with no strings attached! I may have been playing both sides, but that doesn't mean I wasn't bias." He said. She shook her head at him. She took a few seconds to collect herself.

"Severus, you have changed. You've become brainless! Now I feel sorry for you." She said.

"Oh, give it a rest Narcissa." She glared at him lethally. She then sighed and decided to change her tack. She calmed a bit then looked down.

"Severus, haven't you missed me at all?" She whispered.

"Haven't you missed us? The good times?" She asked walking up to him slowly.

"It wouldn't be like it was before. There is no Voldermort, no Lucius, it's just us. Severus, for once it's just us." She said as she put her hands in his.

"I've always needed you." She continued.

"Narcissa." He warned.

"Severus, please, don't turn me away again. Even if this is the last time. Just let me have one time with you before I give you up." She whispered on his lips.

He closed his eyes and she took this as a yes. She started kissing him slowly and attentively at first. Something she had never done. Then it elevated as it became fervent and needy as there tongues fought for dominance. Narcissa wanted him to know how much she wanted him and how mad she was with him for choosing to be a spy, and for not needing her as much as she needed him.

Severus realized then that he was no longer in love with this witch. He was only obliging her wish. He actually felt a little disgusted with himself for kissing her when he knew she had done the same with plenty of others. If she thought that she was going to get more than the kiss she was wrong.

But something happened that neither of them expected. Severus' door swung open and there stood Hermione watching as Severus and Narcissa kiss passionately in front of her. Severus turned to see who had just entered his quarters without so much of a knock. His face and heart fell when he saw Hermione standing there. He threw Narcissa away from him as fast as he could.

"Oh Merlin, I'm so sorry! I-I d-didn't mean to interrupt! I-I w-was j-just stopping b-by to a-ask you a question! I'm going to leave you two! I-I am truly sorry! I-!" Hermione said as fast as she could then dashed out of the room.

"Hermione!" He called out, but it was too late, the door was already closed. He quickly turned to Narcissa who threw her arms up, shrugged, and gave him a lop-sided grin.

"Out!" He said pointing to the door.

"Come on, you can't be serious! You're throwing me out because of Granger!" She asked incredulously.

"No, I'm throwing you out because I'm ashamed. I never want to be with you. Don't be offended when I say I hold myself better than this. Believe me when I say that I have changed." He said.

"Fine." She said as she walked towards the door.

"But know this; she's too good for you. She's a smart girl, you'll never have her." She said and exited.

Severus sighed. He would have to think of a way to get rid of Narcissa. She was doing her best to ruin the only remains of a life that he had. He took his cloak and started his search for Hermione. He hopped he'd find her in her quarters or in her office but he didn't. He checked the Headmistress' office but no avail.

He swept the castle but still no avail. He groaned. He hoped she didn't leave the castle. It was raining cats and dogs, as they would say. He searched the grounds and still could not find her. He sat on a bench in the garden.

She would think he lied to her after what she walked in on. He tried to think of what he would say to her, but no words came. Why were things so hard when it came to her? It was always work to get to the next exquisite moment with her. He wanted more with her.

He knew it was something that couldn't possibly be, but he wanted it anyways. He let the rain hit him therapeutically, he had no idea how long he'd been sitting there. He was sure it was longer than an hour, but he was not planning on going anywhere.

"What are you doing out here?" A voice asked. Severus looked up and saw Hermione standing in front of them with a rather large umbrella. He said nothing for a while.

"Severus, are you okay?" She asked concerned.

"Hermione-." He began.

"Severus, if this is about what I walked in on I truly am sorry. I didn't know." She apologized again. He still said nothing. She sighed and took out her wand. She dried him, enchanted the umbrella to hang above them, and she dried the bench.

"Are you mad at me?" She asked taking a seat next to him.

"No." He whispered.

"Then why are you sitting here in the rain?" She asked.

"It wasn't meant to happen. I didn't want to-." He stopped. Silence took over their conversation.

"She doesn't deserve you. You know that right?" She asked. "You're not that same guy you were before. You're better than that." She paused. "But if you love her, th-then I'm happy for you Severus. You deserve happiness, regardless if it's with her." She said smiling.

When she first saw them together, she felt a strong sense jealousy consume her. At that moment her heart stopped beating and she felt an overwhelming urge to cry. She assumed it was because he had lied to her. He told her they weren't involved at all. She couldn't imagine how he could touch her let alone kiss her after what she did to him.

Afterwards she realized that he must love her a lot more than he had led on. And that hurt to know. The thought that he may not have enough room for her in his heart, it just made her want to cry and lash out at the same time. It was then she knew she must feel more than an attraction for him. And after what happened, the thought just hurt.

"Hermione, I don't know what happened. Believe me when I say that it wasn't something I wanted. She just began to ask if I could kiss her one last time, and in all truth, I felt like I owed it to her.

"But when we kissed, it felt wrong. I became aware that I don't love her. I mean I will always love her as a friend; we've been through a lot together. But other than that- I just can't be with her anymore. It isn't who I am. Not anymore." He said.

Hermione said nothing; she couldn't for fear of ruining the moment. Severus mistook her silence for something else. He wondered if she thought less of him then she originally did. He wanted to ask, but at the same time he didn't want to seem weak, as if her answer would affect him in any way. Hermione put her hand in his. "Come on; let's go inside before you get sick." Hermione said as she led him to the castle.

* * *

a/n – Hope you liked this chapter. I know it's been forever since I updated. My apologies, life just all of a sudden happened. Review! 


	10. Your Actions Speak Louder Than Your Word

Disclaimer: I don't own anything

Chapter 10 – Your Actions Speak Louder Than Your Word

"104, I knew you were going to get sick sitting out there in the rain, honestly. Now you have a fever." Hermione said to Severus looking at her wand which she turned into a thermometer. She headed to Severus' room first thing after she had gotten ready for her class. She had foreseen that he'd be ill.

"Hermione, don't be so dramatic. I feel fine." He said standing up from his chair. "Where are you going?" Hermione asked. "Well Hermione, it's Monday morning, and I'm a professor at a school called Hogwarts, here, say it with me Hog-warts."

"Severus I am perfectly aware of what day it is and your occupation here at Hogwarts. But you are sick and there is no way that I am letting you leave this room. Not without a few broken bones first. Now, I'll call Minerva to cancel your class for the day. I'm sure your students will be distraught, but they'll live." He snorted.

"I'm going to tell Jemmy andGinny that you are sick and you be needing looking after while I'm teaching. So get into your pj's and into bed. I'll be back in a few minutes."

And with that Hermione left Severus sitting there wondering what he had done to deserve such a friend. He stood up and headed to the bathroom for a shower. He suspected she wouldn't be back for a while. As he got in he tore off his clothing piece by piece. He turned on the shower and got in.

He let the hot water fall on his back. He sighed. He missed her already. The way she made him feel, the way she stirred up emotions in him that he feared he would never feel. The way they could talk for hours on end. Of how her scent stayed on his robes after she was gone, the way she never once flinched when she touched him. He wished to the gods above that he knew how it felt to feel her touch when she needed him, when she wanted him. He felt himself start to get aroused.

He sighed as he put one hand against the wall and the other on his hardened length. He hated this sort of sexual gratification, but it had been a long time since he'd been with a woman, and judging by the way things were going, it seemed to be the only form of sexual gratification he was ever going to have. He stroked himself slow at first. His breathing became harsh and unsteady and his intensity and pace of his strokes sped.

After a few minutes he threw his head back and cried out Hermione's name. After rinsing himself of proof of his selfish behavior He turned off the water and got out. He sighed as he took his towel and began to dry himself. He then threw his towel aside and began to examine himself in his full length mirror. Something he rarely did.

His hair was too long and shaggy, his eyes seemed to be as black as his soul, his nose was far too long, and his skin was paler then he'd prefer to be. He had many scars, throughout the length of his body. He never remembered a time when his body wasn't full of scars. Full of memories he'd wish to leave behind. Times when his he'd try to protect his mother from his father's fury. Times when he hurt himself through his own self-hatred. Times when his loyalty was tested. Times when victims would try to protect themselves of him. Times in battled where he almost forgot himself.

He was always envious of wizards whose skin was unblemished and flawless. It was ironic but mostly upsetting how the man outside seemed to match the man inside. His life was sick and twisted that way. His body was toned and muscular, but with all the scars he had, none of that mattered.

Hermione walked into Severus quarters and looked around for him. "Severus." She called but no one answered. 'Oh I hope he didn't go down to his classroom.' She thought looking around. She saw the bathroom door open and walked in.

To her surprise she walked in to see a totally nude Severus turned away from her. He turned around and regarded her. She stood there mouth agape and eyes wide. "So you don't employ knocking at all, I see." Severus said indifferently. In all honesty he wanted to see Hermione's reaction to him.

Hermione felt immobile and a loss of her voice all at once. She knew Severus was in shape, but this was ridiculous. He just took her breath away in a fashion that she never thought was possible. She almost wanted to cry when she saw all of his scars. It was proof of his journey of strength, courage, persistence, and prevalence. She wanted to kiss each one and show him her appreciation of him, for just being.

An uncontrollable need and urge to touch him took over her as she walked toward him, put her arms around his neck and kissed him. Severus' shock didn't last long as he wrapped his arms around her waist pulling her as close as she could possibly get and plunging his tongue into her mouth making sure he tasted every angle. She tasted sweet and addictive. And she felt like she was coming home for the first time.

She moaned softly as she felt his erection pressed against her. She slid her arms against his chest and around his back. A loud pop-ing sound made Hermione jump away from Severus. They both turned to see Jemmy looking extremely embarrassed and ashamed holding a cup of tea.

"My apologies Master." She said as she quickly set the tea down and disappeared.

Severus turned to look at a glassy eyed Hermione. "I'm sorry, I don't know what came over me Severus." She began as she turned from his naked form.

"I'm really so sorry Severus." She continued. He began to walk toward her; he missed the feeling of having her in his arms. He had no idea why she was apologizing, but he knew he didn't like it. She looked at her watch, her back remaining toward Severus. "Bugger, I'm late. I'm really so sorry Severus. It'll never happen again." She said before making a quick exit. He wanted to stop her and ask her why the bloody hell not. But a spout of coughing led him against it.

Hermione walked to her classroom quickly. She couldn't believe her lack of self control. She felt utterly embarrassed. 'How could I do that to a friend? How am I going to be able to face him again?' She asked herself. She contemplated telling her class it was a free period for them to catch up on other homework so she could think about it further, but she decided against it. If she continued to think about it, she would have to throw up.

So she went about her classes as usual. Lucky her, being with her kids made her calm down and realizes that maybe it wasn't such a big deal. She had already prepared her speech of what she was going to say to him. She had convinced herself that the only reason she kissed Severus because she was feeling lonely lately, and she only kept kissing him because he was an okay kisser, and it would be rude to stop abruptly when you started it. After her last class before lunch she headed to Severus' quarters.

Severus had been on edge ever since Hermione had left his quarters.Ginny had been by to give him some potions and Jemmy had come to give him tea and some breakfast. The potions had made him drossy, but he couldn't sleep. He was too busy thinking about what had happened this morning.

Why had she kissed him? And even worse, why did she regret it afterwards. He sighed as he stared at his ceiling. The kiss she had given him had been plaguing his mind. 'Why had she done it in the first place?. He asked himself.

He knew she couldn't possibly harbour any feelings for someone such as himself that was out of the question. Did she feel sorry for him? Was it some kind of pity kiss? If it wasn't for his pesky house elf, Jemmy she would probably be lying beside him right now. But would she regret that to? If she would, he would prefer it never happened. He didn't think he could've taken that. He again sighed. 'How did everything become so complicated?' he asked himself and as he did he heard a faint knocking at his room door.

He stood up and walked over to the door and opened it. Upon seeing him, Hermione quickly turned around and shielded her eyes.

"Could you please put a shirt on?" She asked. He looked down at himself. He was clad in just his dark green boxers with the Slytherin logo on them.

"Oh, sorry." He mumbled not sure how to react.

He went to his dresser and slipped on a wife beater. "Okay." He said. She turned towards him, blushed and turned back around.

"Could you put on a real shirt?" She asked embarrassed. Just looking at him was turning her on. He looked spectacular without anything on, magnificent with no shirt, and fantastic with a wife beater that seemed to accentuate his great body.

A bit annoyed, Severus went in his drawer and pulled on a simple plan white tee.

"Better?" He asked. She turned around and smiled sheepishly.

"Yeah." She said. "So how are you feeling? Did I wake you?" She asked him as she took a seat at his desk. He sat on his bed and didn't say anything for a minute.

"Is it the scars?" He asked looking at the floor. Hermione was at a loss of words. Truth be told she wanted to kiss all his scars starting from the top and see where it gets her. Feeling particularly brave she got up to sit next to him on his bed.

"Severus, your scars are everlasting memories of the great man you've become and what you've been through to get to this point." She paused. "I'm really sorry about what happened this morning. I honestly don't know what came over me. I really want you to know that it will never happen again." She said. It wasn't the long speech she had planned, but it would have to do. "Do you forgive me?" She asked.

He didn't answer her right away. Instead he just stared at the flooring thinking for a second. After a minute he turned to her and smirked.

"Of course." He said. She smiled. "Great. Now get into bed." She said standing.

He complied he didn't feel much like arguing at the moment. "Did you eat?" She asked. "Yeah I ate." He replied. "Good. Now it looks like you need some rest. I'll leave you to it. I'll be back in two hours." She said walking out the door.

He stared at his ceiling. He knew it would this would happened. He knew it, but he wasn't fully prepared the way it made him feel. He stayed awake for a while, and then let the sleep take him.

Not to long after, he heard a knock on his door. "Come in." He said knowing it was her. He could smell her perfume from the hallway.

"Did I wake you?" She asked. "No." He lied. He sat up slightly, and rubbed the sleep out of his eyes.

"How were your classes today?" He asked. She waked toward his bed and lie next to him on top of the covers.

"Not bad, same old, same old. Sunington broke another two cauldrons, and Bentern burnt her hair off completely, and Tensley, well she'll be back to her old self again in a few weeks."

"So the usual?"

"Exactly." She replied smiling. "I didn't think I would ever be teaching. But I really love it." She said.

"I never thought I would be teaching either, but here I am. I never really like teaching. Well only on the rare occasion when a bright student such as yourself came along. Then it great, to see a student who shared my love of potions." He said.

"Why don't you quit if you don't like it." Hermione asked trying to get him to admit that he does like it.

"Actually, I was suppose to retire this year, but Minerva asked me to hold off a year. And I didn't mind, Hogwarts is my first home." He said.

"So you're retiring?" She asked incredulously. "Yes." He said simply.

"What do you plan to do after you retire?"

"I've always wanted to open my own potions shop. And there's a space in Hogsmeade clearing. It would be an ideal space for the shop." He said.

Hermione didn't respond. She couldn't imagine teaching without him being there. She couldn't imagine Hogwarts without him.

"I can't just stay in Hogwarts forever. This is all I know. It's too safe. I want to try something new. I want to try the things I couldn't before. You understand?" He asked.

She understood, but she still didn't want him to leave. Suddenly it felt as though the end of the year was right around the corner. Would Snape still want to be friends with her if they weren't colleagues? If he didn't have an excuse everyday to see her or talk to her? Hermione suddenly felt a little sick. "Hermione?" She knew she was being kind of selfish, but is it wrong to just want to be around him.

Everyone else had someone, Ginny had Draco, Angie had Fred, Montague had Luna, Neville had Padma. Minerva apparently had some new boyfriend she was keeping secret, and Abby had her problems. "Hermione." Who would she talk to if not Severus? And who would take his place? Surely no one had his expertise in both potions and dada. "Hermione." She turned to Severus at the sound of her name.

"What were you thinking about? I was calling you for a while." He said. She stared at him.

"Are we going to keep in touch after you leave?" She asked.

"Do you even have to ask?"

"Yes. Severus, I'm going to feel so alone when you leave. Who am I going to talk to? Who's going to read to me? Who am I going to come to for help?" She asked.

"You've never come to m for help." He said. "Severus, you know what I mean." He stared at the ceiling. "Yeah, I do." There were a few minutes of silence.

"So, how did it go with Krum? I've been meaning to ask." He said. Hermione rolled her eyes.

"You were right. He's still in love with me. He just wanted me to be with him again." She paused. "You should have heard him Severus. He was really heartbroken. I mean, if you think about it, it's my fault that he's-." She paused again searching for the right words, but all her words failed her.

"Hermione, it's not your fault that he's miserable. He just needs to let you go. Holding on to you when you're not his is very unhealthy. Don't let yourself get upset over him. He doesn't deserve you, not by half." He said. She looked up at him and smiled.

"Thanks Severus." She said.

He couldn't help but smile back. Her smile was radiating. Again silence lingered in the room. Hermione turned o her side so her body was facing his.

"Tell me something you never told anyone else." Severus thought about this for a minute.

"Only if we get to play Twenty Questions. Except I go first this time." He said.

"Okay, but it has to be something deep, meaningful, and good." She said.

"Okay." He said as he decided about what he could tell her. After a few minutes he decided.

"Ever since I was younger, I've always felt alone. It didn't matter who was in the room. I always felt like I was alone in this immense world. But ever since you came to teach here, I stopped feeling that way. Just knowing you make me feel strong enough to take on the things I thought I couldn't. Just by you being next to me, as crazy as that sounds." He said.

Hermione didn't respond. Severus was beginning to sweat fearing her reaction. He then felt her small hand slip into his large one. "That is the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me Severus." She said giving him a glassy eyed smile. "Yeah, well, it's true." He said quickly.

"Are you ready to play?" He asked reaching ower to his nightstand to get his wand and sat up. "Yeah," She said getting up her wand and sitting legs crossed. They switched wands, and taped them together.

"Okay, first question. Favorite color?"

"Mahogany."

"Birth date?"

"September 19th."

"Do you ever plan on settling down and having a family?" Hermione didn't answer this right away. When she thought of having kids, they all had red hair and freckles, and resembled Ron. She had never imagined herself with anyone else.

"I don't know. I think I do, I just never pictured myself with anyone besides Ron." She said, but just as she did she got shocked. "Bugger!" She said dropping the wand. She thought she was telling the truth. Severus raised a brow.

"Who have you pictured yourself having a life with?" He asked as she picked up his wand. "I don't know." She said cautiously and she got stung. Severus' brow rose further. "Was it with Krum?"

"No."

"Anyone other than Ron in the Weasley clan?"

"No."

"Harry Potter?"

"No."

"Was he a Gyffindor?" She hesitated. "Three seconds." He reminded her. "No!" She said quickly, but not quick enough. She got shocked.

Severus smirked. Payback really was a wicked concept.

"So you strayed from your Gyffindorks." He said slightly amused. Hermione rolled her eyes. "But I'll always return." She said.

"So who was this Lancelot? Or do you prefer Romeo Was he a Ravenclaw?" He asked.

"Lancelot is fine. And no." She said blushing fiercely.

"Well, well, now I know you didn't fall for a Hufflepuff. So am I right to assume he was a Slytherin." Hermione would have hesitated if not for the three second time limit. "Yes." She muttered.

Severus began to chuckle and Hermione looked up. It's not that she hasn't seen him laugh, but she just loved to watch him. His laugh shook his chest and brightened his face and in turn brightened hers.

"So what is the name of our dear Lancelot?" He asked. She dropped the wand quickly, said "Blaise." and quickly picked it up. Severus laughed again. Hermione tried to suppress a smile.

"Do you take me for a fool Hermione?" He asked. "No." She simply.

"Alright, I'll let it go for now. But fully expect me to bring it up later." Hermione again rolled her eyes. "Noted." She replied.

He turned to her and looked her in her eyes with such intensity she wanted to look away, but she couldn't. He had the most beautiful eyes.

"Why did you kiss me earlier?" She quickly dropped the wand and grabbed hers.

"Severus, I've had quite enough of this little game. I just remembered I have to bring something to Abby." She said getting up and walking towards the door. Severus grabbed her arm and backed her up against the door. "She can wait."

"I told you it was an accident."

"You didn't just fall onto my lips Hermione."

"It was an accident nevertheless!"

"Tell me Hermione, how do you walk halfway across a bathroom, entangle yourself to another person and kiss them entirely on accident?"

"Oh, I would hardly say I entangled myself to you!"

"That wasn't the question."

"What do you want me to say besides sorry?"

"I don't want you to say sorry; I want you to tell me why!"

"I don't know why Severus. All I can say is that I wasn't thinking when I saw you there."

"Okay, so you saw me and it made you lose all thought?"

"Oh, don't let me get in the way of you head inflation."

"Hermione." He warned.

"What do you want me to say? What do you want!"

"You." He said as he lowered his head and gave her a kiss.

* * *

a/n - I hoped you guys liked it. I'm really sorry for the wait. Special thanks to Alaksandra, thanks for the review, and thanks to everyone who reviewed. Tell me how I'm doing, please review. 


	11. A Better Version

Disclaimer: I don't own anything

Chapter 11 – A Better Version

"What do you want me to say? What do you want!"

"You." He said as he lowered his head and gave her a kiss. He wanted to show her much he wanted her, how much he needed her. The last thing on Hermione's mind was pushing him away. She put one hand through his hair and the other on his waist pulling him closer to her.

Severus leaned both hands on either side of her head. He had no idea why she was kissing him back. He would've thought she would have pushed him away once his lips touched hers. But here she was kissing him. He decided he would no longer think about it, and for once live in the moment. He wrapped his arms around her waist pulling her closer to him. She moaned softly as she got lost in him. The kiss got deeper and more fervent.

Hermione brought her other hand to his waist and began pulling his tee shirt and wife beater off. Severus broke the kiss and watched her as she eagerly pulled off his shirt. He smiled to himself when she finally got it off. He kissed her again, now his hands working off the buttons of her shirt. When he got it off her threw it aside and picked her up by her butt while she threw her legs around him.

He walked them to the bed while Hermione assaulted his neck. He laid her gently on the bed and he slowly made his way on top of her. He again kissed her on the lips and began to slowly make his way down. As he sucked and teased her neck making sure to leave mark later, he teased her breast with his hands.

Hermione tried unsuccessfully to suppress a moan. She couldn't believe how much she wanted this man. She could feel his hardness against her thigh. Caught up in the moment they barely heard Minerva's voice.

"Severus, are you still in bed?" She asked walking towards his quarters. Hermione broke the kiss.

"Severus?" Minerva said again.

Hermione wrenched herself out of under him and looked for her shirt. Severus followed her lead annoyed. He was disappointed that Minerva interrupted, but he didn't care if she knew. Hermione found her shirt and was fastening the last button.

"Severus?" Minerva knocked once and walked in. She froze at the door regarding them both. She could tell by their expressions and the disheveled appearances what they were doing.

"I'm sorry to interrupt." Minerva said trying to hide a smile about to walk out the door.

"Oh, you weren't interrupting anything. I just came up to check on Severus. But now that I see that he's doing well I'm leaving." Hermione said walking to the door.

"Hermione." Severus called.

"Yes, I will hopefully be seeing you well and rested at dinner." She said leaving. Severus sighed. She was probably sorry for what they just did. He didn't understand, it felt like she wanted him as much as he wanted her. He sat down at the edge of his bed and put his head in his hands.

"Why do I get the feeling that despite what Hermione said that I indeed interrupted something?" She asked.

"That is because you did." He said sliding his hands down his face.

"I'm sorry, I didn't know there was anything going on between you two." She said.

"There isn't." He said softly. She looked at him confused.

"I don't understand. I swear when I walked in here that you two were-. I'm losing my touch." She said seating herself in a chair next to him.

"You're not losing your touch; we were in the middle of something. She's just confused."

"About what?"

"I don't know." He said.

"Well it looks like you're feeling a lot better." She said.

"I'd advise you to go and find her, and clear up her confusion since it seems you are feeling better." She said standing up and walking towards the door. "And do make sure she takes the fever serum. Don't want her getting sick." She said walking out the door.

Severus didn't need to be told twice; he quickly got dressed and headed to her quarters. Only she wasn't there. Neither was she in her office, classroom, or apparently in the castle. He searched every nook and cranny of and he still could not find her. He decided to wait till dinner, but she wasn't there either. He decided to go to her quarters and wait for her there. On the way he literally bumped into Draco.

"In a hurry?" He asked. "Yes, actually I am." Severus said a little irritated. "Where are you off to?"

"To find Hermione. Have you seen her?" He asked.

"Yes, she was with Ginny, they're due back soon. I think they went into Hogsmeade. Did you guys have a lover's spat?" He asked jokingly.

"Something like that." He said taut.

"Here, why don't you tell me your situation? If there's anything I know better than Ancient Runes, its woman. And Ginny's best friends with Hermione, so I can help you out….As best as I can of course, you are Snape, and we are talking about the gorgeous Granger. Don't tell her I told you that though." He said.

Snape scowled. He didn't go around talking about his personal business to anyone. But when it came to Hermione, he needed all the help he could possibly get. He agreed and they headed down to the kitchen.

After Severus told him the situation he sat and waited for Draco's response. Draco ran his hand threw his hair and sighed. "It seems to me like she's attracted to you alright. She likes you a lot, but something's holding her back." He paused.

"It's a tricky thing when you fall in love with a woman who thought she already had her Prince Charming like Hermione and Ginny. It's something you have to be aware of. You might have to wait for her to be okay with the idea of being with someone else other then Ron. Just give her time. I'm sure she's not okay with the idea with opening herself up to someone who can possibly leave and hurt her like Ron did." He said.

Severus hadn't thought of this. Draco was right. She probably just needed some time to sort things out. And if that's what she needed, that's exactly what he was going to give her. He stood, "Thanks you for the talk." He said walking away.

Draco headed back to his quarters feeling good about himself. 'My good deed for the month, I hope it cancels out knicking Montague's PSP the other day in Hogsmeade, muggles can do good things when they put their small brains to work. If only I could enchant it to work in Hogwarts. He'd have to ask Hermione about that later.' He thought walking through his quarters. In his bedroom he heard voices. He went to his bedroom door and listened in.

"I don't know Gin, I'm just confused I guess." She said.

"Is it about Ron?" She asked.

"I don't know, it could be." She said.

"Didn't you have some trouble being with Draco after Harry died. I don't want to think of Severus as a second choice because Ron isn't here. If that's the case then I need him to be with someone who thinks of him as a first choice." Hermione added.

Draco scowled behind the door. He held his breath for Ginny's response. "Hermione, Draco was never my second choice. I loved Harry very much. But Draco, Draco's my soul mate. He's the one I'm suppose to spend the rest of my life with, have kids with, die with. Harry could've never been my Draco." She paused. "Hermione, maybe you were supposed to be with Ron as a teenage, so you know what love feels like, but as a woman, maybe you need to be loved by Severus because he's the one who can." She said.

"I'm going to sleep on it and talk to you lat-."

"Hermione, can you please leave so I can a have a word with my wife?" Draco asked after he walked into the room silently. Hermione stood there for a minute in surprise. "Now!" He shouted as she jetted out of there. Ginny rose a brow. Draco headed for her, wrapped her arms around her and kissed her hard. After a few minutes Ginny pushed him away a bit.

"You were listening to us weren't you?" She asked still in his tight embrace. "And what if I was?" He asked.

"Draco, I've always told you that you were my number one." She said a little upset.

"Yeah, I know. I'm sorry it took m this long to believe you. But I'll make I up to you, I promise. Starting now." He said as she giggled.

Over the next four days Severus barley saw Hermione at all. He actually wasn't sure he even saw her, just glimpses of her in the distance, which he could easily pass off as his imagination. He missed her terribly; there was an ache in his chest that just wouldn't subside. He knew he need to give her space, but did that mean not seeing her at all? Over the past four days without her, he became more callous and rude then ever. After he took eighty points from his own house

Severus headed toward his quarters. He hated himself when he was like this. By nature, he wasn't a nice person by no means, but he was the worst version of himself without her. But with her, he seemed to change into a better version of himself. Was this what it was going to be like when he left Hogwarts? He most likely wouldn't see her daily. And without her, he was becoming more and more like the evil deatheater everyone thought him to be.

Did he care what everyone thought? No, the only person whose opinion was of any consequence to him was Hermione. And if she wasn't going to be around any longer then how he acted carried no weight. It would be better if he'd just stop being friends with Hermione completely after he retired. To see her once in a while and not be able to hold her or touch her in the manner he wanted was a sick sordid torture he wanted no part of. He went into his quarters with every intention of taking a shower and heading to bed. But as he walked in he froze at the sight of Hermione standing there. She looked nervous, and anxious and somewhat vulnerable.

"I'm going to stop you right now from saying some smart remark about my employment of doors or manners. Give me your wand." She said. He rose a brow amused. "Excuse me?"

"We're going to play a game of Twenty Questions, so we're going to have to switch wands." She said taking out her wand. Severus's brow rose further. They haven't seen each other in days after almost making love on his bed and when they finally do meet she wants to play a game? "Hermion-."

"Give me your bloody wand Severus!" She said in a voice that left no room for argument. He did as he was told and took her wand, they tapped them together. "Now ask me who took me to the Yule Ball in my fifth year of Hogwarts, you know just to make sure it's working." She said. Utterly confused Severus rolled his eyes, but played along hoping they'd end up in his bedroom after and asked,

"Who took you to the Yule Ball in your fifth year at Hogwarts, Hermione?"

"Harry Potter." She was then shocked. "Bugger! Okay, now we know it's working, ask me what my favorite color is, it's changed." Still at a loss, he asked.

"What is your favorite color?"

"Burnt brown, the same color as your eyes. They're not black like I had originally thought, and when your gone, I find myself missing them immensely." She said taking a step forward. He stood with his mouth slightly agape in shock.

"Now ask me what my favorite sound is." She said. He had to swallow hard for lack of moisture in his throat.

"What is your favorite sound?" He asked.

"The sound of your whispering in my ear. Now ask me my favorite part of the day." She said taking another step towards him.

"What is the favorite part of your day?" He asked with effort. "When I'm laying in your lap while you're reading to me." She replied.

"Now ask me wh-who I miss the moment they walk away from me." She said glassy eyed. "Who do you miss the moment they walk away?"

"You, Severus." She said taking another step. "Ask me who my Lancelot is."

"Who is your Lancelot, Hermione?" He said huskily as she was close enough to kiss.

"You again, Severus." She said as a tear fell down her eye. He quickly cupped her check and whipped it away with his thumb.

"Now, Severus, ask me the question you wanted to know." She said.

"Why did you kiss me?" He whispered. "Because I want and need you, Severus." She said tears steadily falling. "I love you."

It was then he realized he had changed, and he was never going to go back. For the man he was could never have her love, and that was reason enough to not to go back. He didn't actually believe that she loved him, for there are many things she does not know. But he decided that he loved the fact that she thought he did. He gathered her to him and kissed her hard and passionately. After a few minutes he pulled away, both breathing heavily.

"And I you, Hermione." He said. She kissed him, a little more gently but with just as much passion, but as the kiss continued it became more frantic as both tongues fought for dominance. Severus began slowly walking them towards his room careful not to bump into anything.

He started to pull her fitted shirt over her head and discarded it on the floor, he went on to her bra and unfastened it, and moved to her snug jeans and panties, all the while making sure to keep eye contact with her. He wanted to see if she wanted him to do this, if she wanted him as bad as he did her. She stopped breathing as he stared at her. She was never the one to care about her body, but under Severus' gaze she felt extremely self conscience.

He was just staring at her nude form. She suddenly felt that she couldn't take anymore and folded her arms trying to cover her breast turning her gaze away from Severus. "No!" He said putting her hands to her side.. "You're beautiful, Hermione." He said as she smiled. "Now let's see that bloody brilliant body you hide so well." She said kissing him running her hands down his chest trying to unbutton his shirt.

She pulled back from his kissed and tried to concentrate on undoing the buttons. "Stupid bloody buttons." She said as Severus laughed. He pushed her hands away, and ripped his shirt open. She pulled it off and threw it on the floor finally realizing that they were in his room. She kissed him again while undoing his pants so he wouldn't see her blush. She dropped his pants to the floor. Severus' lips parted from her.

"Take off the boxers too." He whispered huskily. She blushed furiously, but she brought them down. He stepped out of them and laid her on his bed. He kissed her hard while rubbing her inner thigh. She moaned, his touch was driving her crazy. He broke from her lips and started kissing her neck down to her chest. He unfastened her bra and began assaulting her breast, teasing them with his hands and mouth.

After showing his appreciation to both her breast he started kissing her down her stomach. Hermione's body began to lightly shake as he continued. He stopped when he got to her inner thigh. He messaged her with his hand as he worked his way to her beautiful folds. He entered her with a finger at first and then gradually added another one pumping it inside of her.

She moaned and started grinding herself against his fingers. Her breathing became abrasive. "Oh, Severus." She said softly. He suddenly stopped. Hermione looked at him confused and upset he stopped. He realized that he wanted to be inside her when she did come. He made his way over to her and kissed her fiercely as he rubbed the length of him against her folds. He looked at her.

She had her eyes closed and her hands were on his hips. She looked beautiful under him, but he wanted to make sure she wanted to be there. "Hermione, look at me." He said. She opened her eyes and stared back at him. "Are you sure you want to do this?" He asked. She kissed him hard, "yes." She said into his lips. He pulled away. "Keep your eyes on me." He instructed as she merely nodded.

He slowly pushed his length into her, when he was in he paused giving her body time to adjust. After a minute he slowly pulled out and plunged deeper inside her he continued this at a steady pace continually going faster and faster all the while Hermione began to move her body according to his lead as if dancing. He swept down and kissed her trying not to moan. "You're so fucking tight." He whispered his thought out loud without realizing it. He kissed her hard plunging his tongue just as he plunged his length into her. His hands grasped and messaged her breast.

He pulled out almost to the tip and then plunged in deep, and hard. Hermione screamed in ecstasy. "Severus." She whispered closing her eyes. "Hermione." He whispered. "Open your eyes." He managed to get out slowly. She opened them slowly as her hands slid down to grab his ass. "Oh Merlin, Severus!" She said in a high pitched voice she didn't care to recognize as her own. Not too soon later she came and a little after, so did Severus. He held her close to him a few minutes afterwards. He then moved so that she was on top of him, and they slept away their exhaustion.

Severus was awakened by the sun in his face. This had never happened to him before, he looked at his clock, it was ten to ten. For the first time in a long time he actually slept the whole night. He grinned and looked down at the beautiful little witch laying on his chest. She was even looked stunning when she was sleeping. He couldn't imagine what he must look like. A thought then came to him. 'What if Hermione regretted what they had just done? What if she woke up disgusted with what just happened?' He felt sick.

This had happened to him on more then one occasion. But this time with Hermione it was different. He decided to leave before she awoke. He slowly tried to slide out of the bed without waking her. He then felt her grab him by his waist.

"Where are you going?" She asked sleepily.

"I'm just going to the bathroom." He said stunned and relieved.

"What time is it?" She asked sitting up with the sheets around her chest. "Ten to ten." He said sitting next to her.

"That late? Thank Merlin it's Saturday, I couldn't imagine teaching today." She said rubbing the sleep out of her eyes. She turned to him and crawled on top of him forcing him to lay down.

"You know we can stay in bed all day?" She smiled. He grinned.

"Yes, this I do know that. But what would poor Abby think?" He said. "Sod Abby, I could care less." She smiled.

"My dear Hermione, I do think I have rubbed off on you."

"If only you would rub up on me now.." She said feeling his slight arousal against her leg.

"That tongue of yours is going to get you in trouble."

"I'm hoping." She said kissing him. She found a scar on his shoulder and kissed it sucking it a little in the process. "How did you get that scar?" She asked. "Um, my dad hit me with a bottle when I was younger after he came home drunk." He whispered. She kissed it again. She found another one under his nipple.

"And this one?" She asked. "I got hurt during a raid, a muggle fought back and stabbed me with a knife." She kissed it twice again sucking it in the process. "And this one?" She asked pointing to one below his belly button. "I upset Narcissa one night after a death eater meeting." He said. She kissed it three times. "What about this one?" She asked rubbing her hand against another scar dangerously close to his erected length. "Another one due to Narcissa." He said with much effort.

She kissed it four times and started a trail up his inner thigh up the length of him to the tip of his head. Hermione had never gone down on anyone in her life. She always thought of it as something she never wanted to do. But at this moment she wanted to very badly.

She put her hands around the base and started licking the head and its ridge. He entangled his hand in her hair and gasped. She enclosed his penis in her mouth and began sucking it. After hitting a few spot that made Severus' grip tighter he came. After another performance of last night, they showered and headed to lunch.

"Hermione, just give it up, I'm not holding your hand. What would everyone think?"

"That we're together, that you're mine. What's so wrong with that?" She asked. He sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose.

"We are not discussing this in the hallway. We are not holding hands, end of conversation." He said. She looked at him incredulously. Then she put on a smile. "Fine, Snape, whatever you want." She said as they continued walking.

"I know that look Hermione. Don't even think about doing anything crazy." He warned.

"Crazy? I'm not thinking about doing anything, Snape." She smiled.

"Seriously, Hermione."

"Okay," she answered wearily. They walked side by side into the Great Hall and sat down next to each other. Nothing out of the ordinary, they talked and ate as usual. Lunch ended and most of the people stayed to chat.

Hermione stood to make her leave and Severus stood also, she was counting on this. She knew he would, he was a gentleman that way, he stood when any of the female professors stood at a table. She smirked, leaned towards and whispered in his ear,

"I'm going to Scrivenshaft's Quill Shop, I need some quills." Instead of pulling away she kissed him on the lips, smacked his ass and then walked away smiling. It seemed that all eyes were on him, the staff and students just sat there staring with mouths agape at what had just taken place.

* * *

a/n – So sorry I took so long to update, but I was having a really hard time writing the sex scenes. I know they probably suck, but this is my first fic, so I'm learning, so go easy on me (but not too easy). Sorry for the typos, I'm trying my best, if I have time I'm going to go back and fix them. Review, and tell me what you thought. Thanks to everyone who reviewed. 


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